Ok but that sounds like exactly the kind of shit test God puts people through in religious parables.
Give them an unbelievable and entirely random thing that SAYS it’s supernaturally evil (and it actually is, but it’s also so out of left field–) and if they don’t take the warning at face value and put it back down they will go to hell forever or something.
It starts off innocently but before long, you are eating snacks
One too many potato chips is all it takes.
Death Note should get a new series and it should be entirely about every evil billionaire currently alive in 2025
at the end of the series light becomes one of the god of deaths.
the first thing I would do is write my name in it so no one steals it
Thank you! The first thing I do with every notebook is write my name on the first page (or inside cover)
If you think about it, ALL of my uses would be freebies
a more advanced version of the death note, would be control devil contract from chainsawman, she only needs to hear the name to instantly kill the person, instead of a time delayed time bomb.
Ahhh, but if you attempt to kill someone and the fact that it could be a freebie is part of your decision process then it isn’t a freebie. So having read this you no longer get a freebie.
“This is the
LockPickingNotebookWritingLawyer… allow me to desmonstrate one more time to make sure that it is not a fluke”“You shouldn’t be trying to use a potentially supernatural notebook and accidentally cause the death of people. But if you ever find yourself accidentally become the owner of a death note, then you’ll need a good lawyer, but if you need a great lawyer, contact my law firm. You don’t just need a legal team, you need The Eagle Team!”
“What a cool notebook! I’m going to make this my new personal phone book and spend all afternoon putting all my contacts in it.”
Well, you can always erase it IIRC
I think you have to scratch a line through the name. Don’t quote me on that I’m far too lazy to look up the rules.
“Surely that was a fluke, it won’t work for a second time!”
“Twice in a row? What are the chances. I wonder if it works with pencil instead of pen.”
…
Apple pen !
Penpineappleapplepen!
I recently saw a sticker that said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try a few more times to establish a baseline.”
It could be 101: the first a surprise, the next 100 to establish a meaningful statistical correlation.
can you be my lawyer please
Second one is also free cause we all would use it on Musk the moment the first one worked with Trump.
What would you write down exactly?
I’d write that he get kidnapped, his SS failed, broadcasted live getting fucked slowly in ass by ‘fucking machine’ equipped with huge ass golden dildo made from gold jewelries he got in his safe, bleeding to death over hour.
Repeat with all other billionaires, one every day so we get to savior every moment of it. Each day will have anniversary of billionaire’s death. Top 365 of worst of the worst, and then next year another 365, etc. There’s 2700s, so by time first year is up, we might have billionaires giving away their wealth.
I could go on but you get gist of it.
Im killing Putin first. Hes the core problem, and the most evil of the richest billionaire club.
Gonna need 2 freebies mate.
Freebies? Those are mandatory and required. No shame if they are evil.
Shit man, I would pull up a picture index of the entire Republican party leadership as well as everyone funds and backs them and just start scribbling names down until my hand hurt and then I would just keep going powering through the pain.
I think that’s one thing I couldn’t connect with with Death Note. Why bother going after criminals when there are tinpot dictators out there?
Because Light isn’t a good person who’s corrupted by power, he’s a teen with a superiority complex who suddenly gets the power to kill a bunch of people. He is the tinpot dictator.
This is very, very true.
He’s mostly perceived as the good guy, because he’s the protagonist. And protagonists can get away with quite a bit of f’d up stuff.
Yeah, pretty much. He’s supposedly well educated, but has such a narrow world view.
Yes. Also, most criminals are not evil, they were forced to do crime due to socioeconomic factors. Factors influenced by billionaires and politicians.
I wonder if the Sarin Gas Attacks were an influence. At the time, the perpetrator’s executions still hadn’t happened yet and even discarding moral absolutism, they weren’t exactly motivated by needs or profits.
Now see, that’s what friends are for.
You get your freebie and take out one billionaire, then you hand it to your bestie, he takes out one billionaire, they hand it to their bestie, they take out one billionaire, and you know, twenty-five, forty-five people down the line, or one relatively moderate-sized college campus, and the world is a better place and nobody has to suffer in between heaven and hell for the rest of eternity because of it.
You’d need like 20 names, minimum, to reduce the bloodshed in the coming succession war and post-war regime.
And all the backers.
And the Packers.
(Jk)
Does your freebie have to be one person or can it be, like, a population? Can you deathnote every conservative politician in a go? That’d be one fuck of a freebie.
The method of death can be specified, and it never says that you can’t summon a moderately sized bomb, or a virus that only kills under very specific circumstances. We’re dealing with the supernatural, let’s go a little wild.
…honestly, it never said you can’t make the deaths wicked cool, man, so why don’t we have a pile of gold fall from the sky onto our hated enemy that just by happenstance happened to be near me. Strange how the gold is mostly gone, officer, but I swear, it was like a dragon’s hoard or something.
“AFRICA!”
“Uh Light that’s not how it-”
“MEXICO!”
“PATRIOTS FANS!”
“THE BLOGOSPHERE!”
you can probably fill the whole thing with morally acceptable people to disappear
I can think of like 5 within a second of thinking about it
Wikipedia is full of pages like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_current_United_States_senators with names, photos, and biographies. The scum bags that are destroying our world are not all a secret cult. They’re just assholes in suits.
I’ve thought about this an unhealthy amount. Trump would shit himself to death on live TV. He would cry like a bitch and narrate his experience in great detail.
Are you me? It’s was a good while ago but that was literally what I posted in response to the Death Note question last I saw it!
Trump would shit himself to death on live Tv. 😂
Lol! One should try to live their life in a way that multiple people don’t independently wish you a painful, embarrassing diarrhea death in front of the whole planet.
Said staring off in the middle distance with a small glimmer in my eye:
“I’d like to think there’s a little part in all of us that wants to see Trump shit himself to death on live Tv.”
Tips hat and walks off into the sunset.
while accurately parrying any attempts to help him, and then have a seizure in the shit while still fending off any would be rescuers.
Perfection! 👌
Only way I can think of topping that would be make it a double kill with Musk eating himself to death on said shit.
Overdose, falls right into the pile of shit, people dont notice because they saw Trump go down first?
Gotta have someone slipping on the shit and dying from head trauma right afterwards for maximum lol
J.D. Vance running, wildly masturbating and screaming: “Now I am the king, mommy!” and slipping in Trumps shit and splitting his head open on Hegseths whiskey bottle, ramming it down his throat suffocating him.
The use of it as a mildly lethal control device is underplayed.
So-and-so does XYZ, then dies of general body breakdown at 94"
There’s a two week limit between the name being written and the target dying.
Moving on to kill all of the owning class because they are the source of all our problems tbh
Nah, they all have wills to keep their wealth from reaching anyone who needs it.
“Three days after signing, notarizing and registering all required documents necessary to collectively devote their entire fortunes, stocks and options to an irrevocable trust in support of renewable energy implementation, social welfare systems, sustainable development in the global south, returning resources leased to foreign companies to local citizens, and solving wealth inequality (with trustees selected from currently-living Nobel laureates in chemistry, medicine and economics, the IPCC, and the WHO), Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, <list all current members of the boards of Nestlé, Google, Apple, Sinclair Broadcasting, United Health, and other insurance conglomerates by name here> all make the collective mistake of riding cybertrucks to the second trust meeting and perish in the resulting inferno, which miraculously leaves no lasting damage on infrastructure, nor causes collateral injuries.”
Still a chance of splitting up the money with the descendants cannibalizing each other and fighting over the owning classes corpse.
Generally you don’t need a will to keep wealth in the family, anyway.
Are the family not also part of the owning class?
Where did you get the idea that I disagree with that?
Nah, you’d probably want to do some research into who is the one actually funding people like trump and who in the U.S. government is fomenting these forever wars that are funding the war lobby.
Trump and Elon are the mouthpieces and distractions for where the real money is coming from.
Doesn’t a shinigami come and explain how it works? It’s been a bit since I’ve seen death note so I don’t remember if that happens before or after you use it. If it’s before, there’s no reason to assume it wouldn’t work since a supernatural being appears to explain how it works which adds credibility.
In the anime, the shinigami only came after the first kill IIRC. Light only had the tutorial text in the notebook to go off of.
Death note would be impossible in current year. Like, your test use would have to be on a huge name otherwise your phone analytics would super rat you out. I can just imaging light starting to get ads for burner phones and VPNs.
Just subscribe to a major newspaper and write down everyone who sucks.
just don’t Google them.
look
Ronald Reagan
It worked!
But like it would be so unbelievable that you can’t just say, oh x died bc I wrote his name, that would be ludicrous. You need a decent sample size. I think I’d need 3 freebies. Before that i would not believe this notepad kills people.
What you do is have your first one be someone famous enough that you know when and how they die if it happens, and something that is specific as a cause and unlikely but not so implausible as to make the note resort to it’s default instead. Like, make Putin trip and break his neck during a live broadcast event or something. You could easily design something plausible enough but still highly unlikely to randomly happen in exactly that way at that time.
What if someone wrote “a moth”?
Then we kill the goddamn bastard who dares try it instead
