Summary

Social media influencers are fuelling a rise in misogyny and sexism in the UK’s classrooms, according to teachers.

More than 5,800 teachers were polled… and nearly three in five (59%) said they believe social media use has contributed to a deterioration in pupils’ behaviour.

One teacher said she’d had 10-year-old boys “refuse to speak to [her]…because [she is] a woman”. Another said “the Andrew Tate phenomena had a huge impact on how [pupils] interacted with females and males they did not see as ‘masculine’”.

“There is an urgent need for concerted action… to safeguard all children and young people from the dangerous influence of far-right populists and extremists.”

  • peteyestee@feddit.org
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    4 days ago

    Sometimes I wonder if the Internet should only be allowed for people 21 or 25 years or older.

    21 is the new 16… 25 is the new 21.

    But… At the same time older adults are extremely dumb too.

    But giving a young person access to the Internet is like letting them walk NYC alone at night during the 70s.

    Ever since Facebook and 9/11 the Internet has been kind of awful.

  • technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    Gotta remember… This is sky news. Probably fake. Especially since the “survey” doesn’t even match the headline.

    More than 5,800 teachers were polled… and nearly three in five (59%) said they believe social media use has contributed to a deterioration in pupils’ behaviour.

    Wow it seems like everyone here is completely credulous and happy to have their bias confirmed.

  • Carmakazi@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Every teacher I hear from (US) these days basically says the newest generation coming up is completely screwed. Unreal levels of behavioral issues that are not being addressed at home. Complete lack of engagement with the lesson plan, unfinished assignments all over. They need to curve grades left and right just to get the majority of the class to pass. The parents are more emboldened than ever to make the teachers’ lives hell over things they know nothing about and refuse to take responsibility for.

    It’s easy to brush it off as the standard generational nose-thumbing…but this seems different. Something is really breaking down and I think social media is at the center of it.

    • someguy3@lemmy.world
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      I’ll broaden it to not just social media, but the totality of endless scrolling social media, plus endless access to narcissist “influencers”, plus addicting video games (inspired by gambling patterns), plus must watch addicting TV shows and movies on demand. A lot of this is endless dopamine machine. Add in both parents working and only children with no siblings is less socialization.

    • reddig33@lemmy.world
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      It’s a shame teachers are pressured to “curve grade” rather than just flunk these people and hold them back a grade.

      • gonzo-rand19@moist.catsweat.com
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        Even when I went to elementary school over 15 years ago in Canada, kids weren’t allowed to be held back without written permission from their parents. I thought it was really fucking weird because we literally had a kid whose mom did all of his homework (everyone knew; he had horrible writing and she didn’t) and yet refused to put him in a remedial class or have him repeat a year.

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          I knew a kid like that in school, who’s mother did all his homework and projects for him, he couldn’t even spell “phone”. He was a rich kid who would miss half the school year going on family trips, never took the SAT’s, never went to university. He’s now an executive at JP Morgan (wish I was joking.)

      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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        5 days ago

        Schools now lose funding when kids don’t pass, so admins press teachers to move them along.

      • Carmakazi@lemmy.world
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        Many if not all school districts in the States have their funding tied to their performance, so there is a negative incentive to make grades look good. My elementary school tried to place me in their Special Ed program because my grades would have brought the average up there.

        Plus, holding back 60, 70, 80% of an entire class just isn’t logistically feasible in most cases.

        • Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          Its so absurd.

          I went to a rural title one highschool. I took general level classes and had honors/high honors at least half of my semesters.

          Half way through my senior year, I moved. It sucked balls. My new school, was small, literally the smallest school in my state. Graduation class size was 54 students. It was outside the Capital city, and affluent. Everyone was a “prep” had money, some drove very fancy cars to school ect.

          The new school didnt offer Gen level classes, only college and AP. I was upset at that because those classes were known to me to be super difficult at my old rural school. At that time I just wanted to smoke pot with my friends tbh. But … I took the classes.

          Y’all. This little rich prep school’s College course classes were easier than my Title one school Gen Ed. I couldn’t believe it. This was 2006, and I know now, they did that to keep the funding going. All the little rich kids had parents who could afford to send them all to college, and they needed to look good for thier hard-to-get-into universities.

          It still frustrates me the world is like this.

          • someguy3@lemmy.world
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            I believe it. I think the much older push against standardized tests was so that “fancy” schools could pump up their grades. I never understood the newer push against standardized tests, you want them exactly so schools can’t pump up their grades. Standardized tests create an actual level playing field.

            • Yeather@lemmy.ca
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              The recent push came from Covid when many people could not take the tests, and then it stuck around after since administrators wanted to focus on your “well-roundedness” and not high test scores.

    • Ep1cFac3pa1m@lemmy.world
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      Something is really breaking down and I think social media is at the center of it.

      I feel like you could apply this to almost every societal crisis we’re facing. It’s like social media took every little crack in the foundation and turned it into a chasm.

      • Inaminate_Carbon_Rod@lemmy.world
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        Parents in Facebook echo chambers trying to discover who to blame for their child’s shitty behaviour then getting into arguments when they are told to perhaps get off their phone and speak to their child.

        Children in Facebook echo chambers where they make their neurodivergence their entire personality while simultaneously excusing any and all behaviour due to it.

        If both groups spoke to each other a lot could be changed.

    • uienia@lemmy.world
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      It is different, because never in human history has it been easier to influence people. We are literally addicted, as in the brain is literally addicted, to our little disinformation device, the output of which is largely controlled by malicious powerful entities. Now add impressionable young brains to the mix.

      It is a pretty terrible scenario with no obvious solution.

    • sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz
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      I retired from the job 5 years ago. Your description rings true from my experience then (and was a big part of me retiring), and the colleagues I’ve stayed in touch with say it’s very noticeably worse now. I’m glad I got out when I did.

      • Mog_fanatic@lemmy.world
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        From your experience, why do you think that is? Mostly social media? If so, what about it? Bad parenting? The whole Covid remote stuff? Is it economically driven? Are the schools doing anything differently that could cause it?

        • sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz
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          I would love to pin it on one thing, like social media. While I felt, feel, like that was a big variable in the downfall, I can’t underestimate the loss of the “American Dream”. I felt like phones should be banned. But some teachers felt like phones could be integrated into the curriculum. I could see both points, but honestly I just felt like society had passed me by. One of my master teachers, when I had been student teaching 25 years previously, said it was time to go when the students no longer entertained you. I felt like that was about right. I don’t think knowledge at your fingertips is a reason not to actually learn stuff.

    • GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works
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      Covid really fucked them in not getting normal socialization at school and put a lot of kids behind by a couple of years accedemically. Right now 4/5th grade and up are really screwed. Plus parents just aren’t engaged.

      • ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk
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        I’d at least consider parents aren’t engaged due to time and energy, cause of pressures at work.

        Also, when I was at school there were teachers that put extra time and effort in with kids that were top of the class and bottom of the class. Bet it wouldn’t be like that now cause everyone is so rundown.

        • GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works
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          The curriculum has changed so much and policies require that kids with learning disabilities can have an IEP (Individualized Education Program) and teachers have to come up with alternative learning for multiple kids, leaving them with little time to do anything else. On top of that, experienced teachers have stated that behavior has taken a sharp decline. They no longer separate the problem kids from the rest of the class because studies have shown that their outcomes are better if they remain in normal classes. However, this forces teachers to deal with constant disruptions which causes negative effects on the other students.

          • octopus_ink@slrpnk.net
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            policies require that kids with learning disabilities can have an IEP (Individualized Education Program)and teachers have to come up with alternative learning for multiple kids, leaving them with little time to do anything else.

            Please don’t throw mud at IEPs. I grew up in the 70s when all the “retarded” kids were lumped in together regardless of issue, and now have a son who can only attend public school due to having an IEP and specialized support.

            If more money needs to be spent to help teachers (including getting more of them or more help for those who there are) I’m all for it, but this sounds a little current-POTUS-ish.

      • WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world
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        Throw into that mix all the parents who think home schooling is best. Sure, for a select few it’s going to be better, but the majority are going to struggle in later life.

        • GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works
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          What usually happens is a parent gets reported to social services for child abuse. Then they go to facebook ranting about how bad the school is and that they’re being targeted. Then they pull their kids out of school to “homeschool” so they can continue to abuse their kids.

      • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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        Covid really fucked them in not getting normal socialization at school

        Don’t worry, they will be bullied throughout their life. Missing a couple years of bullying won’t hurt.

    • Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      I am, not great at parenting, I’ve made hella mistakes. I’ve only one son and do my best.

      The number of teachers/therapists (my son works a few programs for his needs) that have been floored by my willingness to parent and hold my son accountable for his actions, is far too high.

      While I’ll take the compliment being “a breath of fresh air” (an actual compliment from a therapist) it bothers me more parents cant take thier own faults to accountability nor hold their children to any standard of conduct really saddens me. I shouldn’t be a wildflower in a field of dirt, it should be a field of flowers damn. A silly metaphor but you get my point hopefully.

      • bradboimler@lemmy.world
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        I am, not great at parenting, I’ve made hella mistakes. I’ve only one son and do my best.

        It sounds like you are

      • pablodaniel@lemmings.world
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        The problem with you being the rare parent to hold their child accountable is that your kid is just going to see it as you being unfair to them. Their peers are going to laugh at them.

        A lot of their peers legitimately don’t need to worry about being a responsible adult. They will inherit enough wealth to never have to work a day in their life.

        • Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          I don’t know what you’re talking about. “Their peers are going to laugh at them”? “Unfair”?

          These are your excuses to not teach accountability? Not only are you wrong in that these are not my child’s viewpoints or reality, you sound pretty young yourself. All of his peers need to worry about being a responsible adults, regardless of future incomes.

          I don’t care what the other children are doing, I only care what my child is doing.

          Would you jump off a bridge (to your death) if all your friends were? Thats fair right? Lol

          Thanks for the laugh

          • pablodaniel@lemmings.world
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            Calm down. I never excused anything.

            I just said what would happen to highlight what a difficult task it is.

    • smeenz@lemmy.nz
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      Those kids are the next generations parents. What are their kids going to be like?

    • metaldream@sopuli.xyz
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      It’s mass narcissism and it’s going to destroy our society.

      If I don’t see signs of change soon, I’m getting tf out of here.

    • SunshineJogger@feddit.org
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      Based on who America voted for president I don’t feel very surprised about the issues and behavior of parents.

      I would be surprised if this were the case in every state though.

    • saltesc@lemmy.world
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      lol, and here’s me thinking I’ll get to finally loosen these bootstraps one day. Wouldn’t be Millennial difficulty if something nice happened for once, so why should I expect reprieve in retirement age? Probably just be anxious af anyway because not being abused by another generation seems too good to be true.

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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        No joke. We went from getting yelled at by old people for problems they caused, to being called old and getting shoved aside by the generation ahead of us, really freaking fast.

        I feel like we’ve already been forgotten after we were robbed of opportunity and respect at every turn.

        I try to focus my energy towards the good ones. There’s still good people out there. I’ve met many kids that would put the majority of adults to shame with their level of intelligence, maturity, and respect. The odds are so against them though.

    • Auli@lemmy.ca
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      Not just the US. One of our school districts can’t fail anyone and your final grade is determined by the work you hand in.

    • scarabic@lemmy.world
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      Social media is definitely a big thing, even if it’s not the only thing.

      I believe it has two parts. The technology can personalize content and optimize for engagement, so it’s more addicting than traditional media could ever be.

      And the jackasses making content have no accountability or editorial standards whatsoever. They churn out whatever clicks and they’re willing to lie, incite, and gaslight their way through it.

      Combine the low content standards with the high addiction factor and you have a ticking time bomb. Or maybe it already went off and we’re just looking around at the crater left behind.

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      Probably going to get slated for this but surely at some point we need to accept our being all nice and friendly all the time just doesn’t work.

      Like if kids are this bad send them off to military school for a month till they shape up. Happens again 6 months, then 12. Government mandated, parents don’t like it, they can look after their kids better.

      People are absolute shits and don’t give a fuck about others or their future. No amount of “please pay attention or you won’t understand algebra and won’t get a good job” will do anything, you will just get “Why do i need to learn algebra! I’ll never use that. John just told me to shut up, what am I meant to do? Just let him disrespect me like that. You should be talking to John!”

      Fuck them. Make them do press ups in the rain see if they learn to shut up then.

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        I actually agree with you. There used to be real consequences for bad behavior and being lazy, and now you get told that it’s not really your fault. Zero concept of personal responsibility. Now society is an epidemic of mass narcissism and selfishness. It clearly isn’t sustainable. There are going to be severe consequences for our quality of life in the future, and that’s assuming society even survives this epidemic at all.

        • Wanderer@lemm.ee
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          Maybe less than all the murderers we have now. Being straightened out by the military is a well known phenomenon. We can’t keep doing the same things when trends are showing they aren’t working, then expect them to work better. Something needs to be changed.

    • pablodaniel@lemmings.world
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      Welcome to post-scarcity.

      Honestly, I wish I realized it more as a kid. There’s not really a reason to pay attention to shit we don’t care about because there’s some autist out there who is going to enjoy doing it and do it better. We can just apply their solutions and move on with our lives. It’s not like they will even care. They’re too busy doing other things.

      Bless the next generation for fighting back against our tunnel vision.

    • technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      So this teacher had nothing bad to say about the teaching or the education system? It’s just bad kids and their bad parents, right? How convenient for teachers.

      In reality these schools are indoctrination camps on the school-to-prison pipeline. We live in a fascist society that’s literally destroying the planet. Schools are a fundamental part of this process.

      TBH kids shouldn’t listen to their teachers and schools. That’s what got us here.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_religion

    • Wanpieserino@lemm.ee
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      Those damn machines, impacting the youth!

      Those damn newspapers, impacting the youth!

      Those damn radios, impacting the youth!

      Those damn TVs, impacting the youth!

      Those damn internet connected computers, impacting the youth!

      Those damn smartphones, impacting the youth!

      Those damn AI models, impacting the youth!

      • InvertedParallax@lemm.ee
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        Our youth now love luxury, they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders, and they love to chatter instead of exercise. Children are now tyrants not servants of their household. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.

        • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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          Thousands of years of this stuff.

          I’m probably just another old idiot who can’t see things for what they really are, but social media does scare the hell out of me. It’s hard to imagine it being a good thing when personalities are shaped by algorithms that exist entirely to drive engagement so a company makes a buck.

          It isn’t just rich chocolaty ovaltine. The kid isn’t being brainwashed to drink a sugary drink from time to time. The kid is a constant revenue stream.

        • datavoid@lemmy.ml
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          I feel like literally every generation for the last 1000+ years probably had a similar sentiment

            • datavoid@lemmy.ml
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              Considering 2500 years ago is more than 1000 years ago, I’ll assume you mean 500 years in the future.

              (Also if that’s an actual Socrates quote that’s hilarious)

        • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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          They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,

          Uh…

  • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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    In my opinion the huge difference between this generation and all previous ones is that content is no longer vetted by anyone. It used to be that to put something in front of kids it had to approved by some sane adult. If a TV station marketed to children something that most parents would not approve they would face protests or maybe even legal action. On social media any asshole can post literally anything and millions of kids will consume it without any supervision.

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      It used to be that to put something in front of kids it had to approved by some sane adult.

      I love how you got a ton of upvotes by vaguely gesturing at the past.

      When was this time you speak of?

      What has changed is the social fabric of society has been ripped up.

      • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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        Back when media for kids consisted mainly of broadcast TV shows and books. It’s not some mythical past; it’s my childhood.

    • Blinsane@reddthat.com
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      That’s the whole point of screaming about “liberal” or “leftist” media for all this time even when most media outlets are owned by for profit orgs. They usually have to comply with laws. On social media you’ve been able to lie as much as you want without consequence or being called out. Corporations mostly use this to market to children and get them addicted to gambling.

      • technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        Most media is liberal though. Liberalism is a (right-wing) hegemonic ideology. CNN, Fox, NYTimes, NYPost, NPR… All liberal.

        Not so much for leftism though. It’s “strange” how the right-wing conflates the two.

        • Blinsane@reddthat.com
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          I agree but it’s beside the point (the liberal party in my country is openly supporting the nazi party). For profit media can per definition not be objective but at least it has to comply with the laws of the country it operates in. The internet bypasses all this legislation and pretty much every country was slow to catch up.

          What really grinds my gears is when my fellow countrymen believe propaganda about our state sponsored media. Which cannot be controlled by our government because it’s been proxied off behind several foundations running it. The only thing our government can do (and then only with support from the opposition) is reduce or increase money going into it. It’s pretty much the only source of reporting in my language without sponsors dictating content.

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            Tankies are permanently stuck in backwards day. Left is right and right is left. They do this because they’re just fascists that don’t like to be associated with other fascists. So they call their fascist group “leftist”, but they hate democracy, liberalism, the jews, etc just as much as any other fascist.

    • Baggie@lemmy.zip
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      You know you’re actually right on the money, and it’s a little startling that it never occurred to me before. Shit.

    • vga@sopuli.xyz
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      Yep, that’s why the only way to be a good parent nowadays is to not give your kids smart phones or computers of their own. There was a time when it was kinda ok for them to have those devices, but that time is permanently in the past.

        • vga@sopuli.xyz
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          I mostly disagree with that. Cocooning up into a terminally online person makes one’s life worse, not better.

          Straight up abusive parents are another thing of course. But even then those kids need sheltering, not the internet.

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            I think you underestimate the sheer number of homophobic parents that aren’t necessarily abusive but would be if their kid ever came out. There are a lot of people I’ve talked to that their online escape was the one thing that kept from killing themselves.

            I’m not saying that it’s healthy but there are a lot of kids in a situation that they can not escape from because of the way that society treats children. Children are treated as something that is closer to property than an individual when it comes to things like law enforcement and emotional abuse.

            • Lka1988@sh.itjust.works
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              Homophobia is abusive. Regardless of the intentions. Ignorance of that fact doesn’t excuse it.

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                I agree. Try arguing that to a conservative judge in the south and you will simply be sent home with your abusive parent, who is likely enraged about having to defend themselves from the “law”.

                • Lka1988@sh.itjust.works
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                  Yeah, absolutely. Having been in a marriage with an abusive person, there is zero reasoning with them once they’re in that state.

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              I think muad’dib is just projecting and maybe you are, too.

              Using the internet to avoid dealing with problems in real life is an unhealthy crutch.

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                unfortuatly the healthy way to deal with a situation like that is to remove yourself from it which children are not allowed to do.

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                Using the internet to avoid dealing with problems in real life is an unhealthy crutch.

                So is pretending the internet is not part of “real life” like it’s 1998.

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        This is a very dangerous line of reasoning that will play right into the hands of fascists.,

    • merc@sh.itjust.works
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      And, part of the reason for that is section 230 of the Communications Decency Act of 1996.

      No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider.

      If a TV station or radio station has a call-in show and the caller swears, it’s the station that gets fined. If the station runs a late night informercial where someone is defamed, the station is liable. But, do it online and you’re fine. The YouTube algorithm can pick out the juiciest, most controversial, most slanderous content and shove it into everyone’s recommendations and only the person who posted that content is responsible.

      Section 230 makes sense in some situations. If you’re running a bulletin board without any kind of algorithm promoting posts, then it makes sense that you shouldn’t be held accountable for what someone says in that bulletin board. But, YouTube, Twitch, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. have all taken it too far. They don’t personally create the content, but they have algorithms that analyze the content and decide who to show it to. They get the protections of a bulletin board, while curating the content to make it even more engaging than a segment on Newsmax or MSNBC.

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    Have you ever had a creepy guy who hangs around the school desperately trying to impress little kids? Yeah he’s the online version.

    • ubergeek@lemmy.today
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      Or he’s your friend’s weird, 28 year old brother, whose room is only lit with black lights, and UV reactive posters, has no job, smokes weed all day, and trips all the time, who tells you Mayans invented cell phones.

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        I mean, he’s having an easier time getting laid than most of the people criticizing him on these forums so…

        Who do you think adolescent boys are going to listen to more?

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          I mean, he’s having an easier time getting laid than most of the people criticizing him on these forums so…

          That’s a bit of projection. Especially when a lot of people shit talking him on these forums are very likely in polycules…

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    I don’t think it is social media. It is much more simple: people can’t spend time with each other. Employers keep reducing the wages, while maintaining or increasing the amount of work their employees have to do. This means that workers can’t invest time into friends or family, which in turn deprives children of healthy role models.

    Jackasses like Tate get to influence the children, because there is a void that has been left empty - Tate has enough wealth and time to fill in for society. Work culture is a ravenous beast, forever chasing workers. If you pause, you lose everything. So you might as well sacrifice the time you could spend with family, since you would lose them anyway if you shirk being a breadwinner.

    Optimization for the sake of line going up, inevitably destroys everything that surrounds the pillar that society is forced to worship.

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      I would also include the death of the “third place”. Because even if you work enough to survive, where do you spend your time outside of the home with other people in your community without spending money? Even worse options if you want kids allowed.

      One of the only places I know of is the library. But I’d be very surprised by an 8-10 year old boy spending their time at the library.

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      Jackasses like Tate get to influence the children, because there is a void that has been left empty

      I’d like to amend this to say that there is void that support “boys”. There’s a lot of encouragement for the development of girls into STEM, into sports, into everything else but there’s no encouragement for boys. Boys are left to fend for themselves and if they don’t get the right support and encouragement at home, they end up ripe for influencers like Tate.

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        https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d24/tables/dt24_318.45.asp

        TLDR: men are twice as likely to get a stem degree. Which is down from 30 years ago which was 5x

        I have no confidence you’ll read those stats so I’ll just leave them here for anyone else to see just how confused you are. There’s a minor bump due to an increase in girls in STEM funding. An increase that still does not have parity with the cultural inertia of boys in stem.

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        A lot of them spend their free time in their bedrooms, gaming. Their only friends are online gamers that are in other parts of the world. They have no actual physical interaction.

        I’ve even seen posts where young men in their 20s are finally making enough money that they can finally visit online friends that they’ve known for years, often describing them as “best friends.”

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          It’s interesting my friends kid is 13. A couple of years ago they were able to take a trip across country to visit their online friends that they spend all their time with in games. Those kids are all girls. This life style truly isn’t exclusive to one gender. The father works a 9-5 and the mother is a stay at home mom with some side hustles for extra cash. Their kid seems to be kind but who knows what she is really getting into online. This world is like a caricature of itself.

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            I’m glad that people can’t hide behind a face anymore. In the old times, and this still happens in some places, people will get away with abuse because they’re good at using their faces to manipulate people. Preachers, community leaders. They used body language to win people’s trust and gain positions of power to abuse people, especially children.

            On the internet, people have to be more honest. Video chat is unpopular, so most people are only using words to communicate. Sometimes voice. You’re looking straight at someone’s soul with less distraction from the physical plane. It’s safer.

            I wouldn’t trust a guy who I’ve only ever met in the flesh. Ugh, creepy.

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      I would argue that those factors aren’t a direct cause, but the isolation leaves them vulnerable to things like this. The internet used to be wide open and your semi-random traversal of independent sites would still expose you to a diverse array of people and content.

      The pursuit of profit led to massive, accessible, engagement driven social media platforms. Optimization for ad views meant segmenting demographics and serving them distilled content. The hyper specific content led to these demographics living in echo chambers based on their flavor of polarizing content.

      The Tate-sphere is built around exploiting that isolation and selling bogus solutions. There’s no specific reason the algorithm funnels into it other than it’s catches a broad user base on a charged topic => $$$. The algorithm could just as easily push young men into fighting for socially beneficial causes, but anger is a strong emotion that gives the most money.

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      It’s not either or. It could be both. In rhis case, most of these reasons can be traced back to the perversion of capitalism.

    • Carmakazi@lemmy.world
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      The internet has made it quite easy for kids to develop an “inner life” that their parents have little to no awareness of, regardless of how attentive they are, though it’s obviously worse if they are not.

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        I developed an inner life, it was the only peace I could find from the daily assault that was my outer life. Sure in the past it was more visible habits like reading a book, but letting kids have some autonomy over their lives is important I feel

        • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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          You’re totally right. Without that inner life we’d just be forced into being exactly like our parents because we wouldn’t grow as individuals.

          I think the problem is when, hypothetically, that inner life that finds you first is a profit-driven hate-brewing death cult brought to you by an algorithm. Then these people “totally get you” and gives you a “community.”

          I miss when those unsupervised inner life communities were mostly around hobbies or games or whatever to escape life drudgery and make real friends. MySpace wasn’t about viral brainwashing campaigns, YouTube was mostly creation for fun’s sake, and even with online games and such, we all knew there was a separation between “the Internet” and “Real Life™”.

          Everybody knew not to take the Internet seriously, because it was a place you went to escape everything else. Nothing really mattered on the internet.

          I think now people don’t really see a separation. The Internet is real life, in the worst way.

          Now so much of it is a minefield of recruitment and manipulation to enlist in culture wars for clicks. There’s labels and lifestyles that act as “funnels” and “pipelines” to increasingly toxic extreme identities that find “belonging” in being captive mindslaves and profit-cattle to any number of “influencers.”

          • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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            Completely agree. The people I found online in those early days were just random people without any motive or incentive to sell me on an ideology. There was a trust back then, because opinions weren’t really worth anything and no one could access your wallet.

            Finding that some community now is a total minefield for users, young or old. So much of the internet has been gamified for a profit/scam at any cost.

            I wish that kids could just connect with other random kids across the world like I did, but I think those days are likely done.

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      That’s it. From what I hear (in Germany) is that the number of students with problematic behavior has increased, yes. That is something teachers can handle, if the parents cooperate or at the very least not interfere.

      Unfortunately the number of problematic parents has sharply risen as well. More seem to be taking a page out of the Trump playbook of never admitting anything and going on the offensive instead. They can become quite aggressive and belligerent when their kid faces consequences for their actions, especially if misogyny was involved.

      It’s impossible to help these students, if they act out behavior they see at home or, often enough, from their divorced fathers, and are encouraged for it.

        • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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          Not necessarily, but in my experience with my friends’ kids, the ones that are the most maladjusted are the ones with their faces buried in their phones all the time, and these are the same kids that were raised on iPads and YouTube all day. It’s one thing to have an hour or two of screen time in a day, but the parents that don’t limit it have the kids with the most behavioral problems.

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      Where did the parents get it? Why did they get it? Why don’t they know better?

      I’m not being cheeky. I want to know real answers to that shit.

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        Since i have a kid with autism i notice how little other people with regular kids invest in them. When the kid starts to walk and talk at the age of two, they basically expect of them to act as adults, and I’m not exaggerating. After that kids get a minimal amount of time that parents address to them. Kids are given a phone too keep them not asking for parents attention, which is formative for their social and emotional skills. You don’t learn that from other kids or Jake Paul. So it’s a combination of shitty parenting and extremely toxic place where people spent hours every day. If you are a developing person it will fuck you up.

      • Cousin Mose@lemmy.hogru.ch
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        As a Millennial that had young parents I was always dumbfounded by my peers’ boomer parents. It’s like they just went to work and treated their kids like an afterthought, and they were too stuck in their greedy consumer mindset and didn’t have a clue about what we consider today the most basic of tech.

        It’s not hard for me to imagine that my generation went on to raise kids poorly. I don’t have children myself but I’ve seen plenty of people my age raising them.

        • orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          You paint a picture I’m familiar with, but didn’t experience firsthand. You were my friends and acquaintances I grew up with.

          I’m late Gen X/Millennial cusp. The oldest of three siblings, both of whom are squarely Millenials. I got computers, but I also enjoyed formative years without them. My parents are boomers, and were not perfect, but I feel like I got the right stuff from them.

          I don’t have kids. In the 90s when I was a teenager, I saw the writing on the wall and decided never to have children.

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    “In a secondary English class last year, a group of boys opted, despite discouragement, to write a persuasive essay on why Andrew Tate is the GOAT (greatest of all time) which included praise of his view that women are a man’s property… all of the parents were contacted and were appalled.”

    When I worked in a middle school a couple years back, I heard the Tate shit there. Had a student who would name their Kahoot something like “[female students name] has a nice ass” and administration would refuse to allow me to impose consequences.

    If you are around teen boys, please talk to them about Tate. He’s not someone who should be walking free, and he’s not someone children should be listening to.

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    When I was 10, or 13 there were literally no issues like this at all. Well, I didn’t even think about girls that much at that age, let alone in overly sexual way, lol.

    What the actual fuck is happening with society recently? Is everybody going insane because of social media?

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    Well the solution to that one 10 year old is pretty clear. Actions have consequences, if he wants to be a little shit he can repeat the grade next year after hard failing this one.

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    Andrew Tate should just put on the Taliban turban and be done with this charade. His entire schtick is Sharia for Americans.

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    Stories like this are what I think of every time the topic of regulating social media comes up.

    We know it’s programmed to create rage machines. We do, and then people act surprised when social media works as designed.

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    Yall didn’t see this coming with the red pill derived slang that kids have been using? They’re obsessed with their value. It’s terrifying and capitalism loves it.

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        It’s from the Matrix, maybe you’ve seen it. For those who haven’t here it is without giving any major spoilers: at one point one of the main characters tells the protagonist that if he wants to learn the truth he could take a red pill that he offers to him, but if he wants to remain oblivious and continue to live normally he should take a blue pill. They’re using this analogy to describe how the media peddles as normal what they consider wrong values and ideas like lgbtq tolerance, feminism and so on.

        Needless to say, Tate is a big fan of that movie. So much so that he named his “course” the Matrix Academy. One of my former classmates actually paid for that nonsense. It was just a discord server and the lectures were useless. All the information there could be found for free on the internet by just doing a Google search or watching a few videos on Youtube.

        • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk
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          I’m aware of red pill/redpilling - it’s the specific slang I’m curious about. My knowledge/experience with Tate is primarily through the news and a few profiles by the likes of Robert Evans, which basically means I’m coming in with the negative viewpoint and no real experience of his content.

          Without knowing the slang it likely passes me by as “well that’s how the kids talk these days” so I’m likely missing significant dog whistles all the time. I like to be aware - allows me to be vigilant and keep a check on myself.

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        I don’t know much more than you, but they said it right in the comment. “They are obsessed with their value” Such as, “High value man” “low value man” ect

        I do know my 14 year old nephew is obsessed with making money in ways I never saw in my youth cohort

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          I don’t really see this as something new. None of it really. There have always been backward ass people. They have always called other kids losers and ostracized them. There has always been a classroom full of kids dragging everyone around them down. School never solved these problems so how am I supposed to react when I hear it’s getting worse?

        • kandoh@reddthat.com
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          Nothing is more toxic than obsessing over money and status. Literally will poison your soul and ruin your life.

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              Capitalism is an inadequate reason for all this, because we had decades of capitalism without this level of shit and toxicity.

              • GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca
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                “How did we get here from there?” One step at a time.

                Not all consequences are immediate.

                • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk
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                  I’d argue it’s not the inevitable outcome of capitalism. The grifters are connecting and feeding off each other like never before though. Trump/Tate/Farage/Rogan/Jones/Brand/Peterson/Shapiro are a few that spring to mind. They’re probably not sitting round planning stuff (well Shapiro probably is in the dorkiest way possible) but they amplify each other, vouch for each other etc etc.

                  They’re parasites with no moral compunction, they spot a glitch where they can get support, money and power and exploit the shit out of it with no regard to the consequences.

                  To my mind they harken back to the bullies of the 90s (and I’m sure before) and appeal to that mindset, wokeness bothers them because it represents progress that patches the glitch. I could ramble for hours but I’ve no solution, I wish someone did.

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        Rizz, alpha/beta/sigma, mid, simp. A lot of importance placed on your value, your masculinity and a lot of overlap between gaming and red pill content.

        You got kids mewing trying to get their jawlines looking nice. Little girls obsessed with makeup and skincare. It’s wild and people think it’s all innocent. It’s not. It’s early indoctrination.

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          It’s honestly wild to me that people in my age bracket can grow up with heroin chic, and think it somehow just vanished into the ether. I don’t know why it’s so hard for them to understand that kids are just getting hit with an evolved form of the same bullshit message that you’re worthless if you don’t fit a specific aesthetic.

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            How does heroine chic relate? I may have been too young to remember anything besides the look

            • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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              It was just the “goal” aesthetic I was trying to meet as a young woman. So many of my classmates developed an eating disorder or just started using drugs because the “strung out supermodel” look was what everybody wanted.

              Its just a precursor carrying the same message kids are gettimg today. That you’re worthless if you don’t look the right way, and you should hurt yourself to look the right way.

              • venusaur@lemmy.world
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                Ah I see. Yeah the more insecure you are the more money they can make from you. Especially the more unattainable the ideal is.

        • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk
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          Thanks! I feel the only new things here are simp and rizz if I’m honest. Simp seems to have gone the way of woke in that it’s lost most of its meaning, but when I see it used on YouTube it’s sinister AF. Tbh I’ve noticed this a lot on YouTube of late, high degree of racist and misogynistic comments in videos that feature a woman doing something “incorrectly” or if something criminal happens and it’s not readily apparent what the race of the perp is.

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            You and I are getting the same algorithm cuz I’ve seen the same stuff on insta. I had to deleted it finally. Couldn’t tolerate the intolerance and stupidity. Just a circkejerk of losers.