I know high fiber foods is a large part of it, but is there anything else to it?
I call those poops flawless victories.
Fry ups make my shit come out like a greased otter. Probably all the oil.
Healthy, fibre heavy foods make a right mess, like tar. Even the travel bidet struggles with that.
It sounds like you may have a a slight case of steattorhea? Do these otter poops float as well?
Because if so, it might be some slight absorption issue. I seem to have one, my poops being very much like you describe. Both, at times.
But when I went on an exclusion diet and then added things back in I realised I apparently have a slight gluten sensitivity. Leaving out gluten and dairy completely made an insane change. Even when I would eat greasy chicken wings, I wouldn’t get dem greasy otter poops. Just like, more regular poops, despite what I ate.
I’m not saying you have the same thing, just saying I had that.
Related though, there is I believe like an over-the-counter supplement that’s enzymes which help with the absorption / break down of the food, because greasy stools can be a result of too little of some pancreatic enzymes or something.
Am not a trained medical professional, btw, so don’t take medical advice from me. But like, things to look up at least.
As a gluten and fructose intolerant person, I agree. That shit makes shit shit.
I deal with it by smoking copious amounts of weed.
Makes nausea and digestive pain a lot easier when you empty your entire guts into the toilet bowl and get off the throne 4 kilos lighter.
none, or get a bidet, but you would want to wipe for sanitary reasons anyways.
I think you missed the point.
“No wipe poops” doesn’t mean you never wipe again. It means poop that leaves behind insignificant residue.
I periodicity have these, and it’s a joy. There’s definitely a dietary aspect to it, and moving that direction seems to be the point here.
Thank you for understanding and emphasis on the point of my question 👍
Even when there’s no obvious sign of poo out still feels wet like I’m wiping normally. I would always want to wipe at least once to get all the sweat and residue from the past few hours that naturally accumulate for just being a human.
Fiber and good gut biome. It can take a while to correct if out of wack.
Eat less frequently. OMAD or skip one meal. Also if you’re drinking a lot of water, supplement with electrolyte capsules (no Gatorade) to maintain optimal function. Reduce or eliminate snacking between meals.
the large intestines absorbs water, electrolytes, and vitamins. It won’t function as well if your shits out of whack.
You can get close by eating vegan.
Sorry, I don’t know enough vegans to sustain my diet…
/s
Sugar makes my poo real bad, candy especially. My gut biome just can’t handle it.
Otherwise it’s just fibre from vegetables and fruit pretty much
A bidet
I find they’re hard to eat.
You have to eat them one bidet at a time.
- Wax your ass
- Get a squatting stool
- Don’t eat spicy food
- High Fiber, meaning, don’t eat anything purréd
- Try to eat a salad with lunch/dinner
- Limit or eliminate processed foods
- Limit saturated fat intake up until the point your gallbladder can keep up
- Red sauces, not white sauces
- Eliminate fried food
- Eat foods that are in a form where you can visually discern each major ingredient. (That’s kinda where the term “Whole Foods” comes from)
- Eat lean proteins like chicken/fish/Pork (not bacon)
Taco Bell takes issue with like half of these.
You lost me at 3 ngl.
Reading number 3 makes me angry.
Legit hard dealbreaker
They lost me at no. 1
Shaving works too. I’ve gotten pretty good at getting it clean with a double edge safety razor. About once every couple of weeks keeps the wiping pretty easy.
somehow, putting a blade to my asshole doesn’t really sound that appealing.
I used to think the same thing and would have my wife wax me. The razor is much faster, doesn’t hurt at all, and accomplishes the goal of keeping my massive ass forest under control.
No thanks. Ryobi one blade.
the squat stool kinda fire tho
I tried it and it’s not for me. I prefer two stable flat feet on the ground.
Ah, a standing position. Bold!
You don’t need to wax your ass if you produce teflon grade poops as asked in this thread. I found out week long feats of uninterrupted veganism helped, so i’d argue balancing fibre intake is key. But i’m not doctor, just like the person i just replyed to.
Why no spicy food?
I think it’s more likely to accelerate digestion and it can give you the runs, not 100% sure on that explanation though
Basically this. Increased gut motility from inflammation reduces the time spent extracting water from your stool, which is exactly counterproductive to the OP’s question.
Wait, can chili do that? I don’t think I’ve experienced that even though my mouth has been on fire numerous times.
Many things increase gut motility. Barbiturates are a famous example of the opposite effect.
It totally depends on the individual, but jalapeños give me diarrhea every time without fail. Spicy food causes general GI upset and inflammation.
If jalapeños give you diarrhea you should try a habanero or a ghost pepper instead.
It is kind of funny that jalapeños sometimes cause my stomach to get upset, but habaneros never do.
So I just thought to duck duck go why and apparently pickled jalepenos are more likely to cause digestive issues and that matches up for me.
So it clearly has nothing to do with the spiciness, and just with whatever your digestive system doesn’t like about jalapeños (or them being pickled). Why would you agree that spicy food is relevant here when it clearly isn’t?
They didn’t.
Yea, sorry. Turns out it was a different person posting this, and I had somehow assumed it was the same person replying, my bad.
I eat peppers that would make a billy goat puke, no gut issues. It’s a matter of getting used to, i.e., burning out, the neurotransmitters that sense capsaicin.
People tend to think hot peppers are rough on the guts, but consider, birds chow them with no issue. No nerves for capsaicin, no problem. See? No cat. No cradle.
I love me a good Vonnegut reference
You might just be allergic to jalapeños, my cousin.
Only thing id add is staying properly hydrated
A bidet.
Interesting diet choice…
It’s pretty good after the first few bites.
Consistent ghost poops whenever I’m eating vegan consistently.
Mainly because meat gets swapped to beans and other high fibre options
No such thing, your own body is your own body and how it functions is entirely for you to manage, figure out and maintain. The shape of your anus and buttocks has as much impact on the cleanliness and ease of your bowel movements as your diet.
You have to follow the basics of self-care and have a healthy diet including a lot of vegetables, grains and legumes with fiber, low-fat proteins, healthy oils like olive oil in moderate amounts. Stay away from processed foods, and if you don’t know what constitutes processed food, you need to learn to walk before you run. Do some searches. You have the wealth of Humanity’s knowledge at your fingers.
Just don’t eat fast-food, cut back on beef, learn to make beans and rice and chicken/tofu dishes and eat some fresh greens daily if you can. Get exercise every day. DRINK LOTS OF WATER EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK YOU’RE THIRSTY.
Will all this give you solid, clean bowel movements? No idea, in fact if you’re not used to eating like this, you will probably need months to adjust to it and may have periods of loose stools or even constipation before you start having healthier, easier bathroom times. You will also save a lot of money and you will feel healthier and have more energy and may live longer. I would take all that over “no wipe poops.”
If you’re really struggling wiping, stop. Buy a bidet or a hand-held shower-head with a long hose and just use toilet paper to wipe dry. It’s absolutely criminal that parents don’t teach their kids proper bathroom hygiene and now we have a whole generation of people who struggle in the bathroom.
Thanks for the random response! Most everything you said makes good sense 👍
Nah, no problems wiping here, I just asked as a generic discussion question that I think everyone has some interest in.
Glad you appreciate it. I figured it might be just a polling question for engagement, which is why I dropped a thorough back-to-basics summary.
But I stand by the last part, I have read far, far too many posts across different sites from grown-ass men and women who struggle keeping the area between their legs from crusting over. There are men scared to touch their own asses and never wash lest they turn gay, and women who think getting water in their vagina will make them go to hell or pregnant or shit, and posts by the partners of these people who have no idea how to address it.
We have a checked out generation relying on Grok and ChatGTP to tell them how to do basic human functions. I feel like this is a recipe for even worst outcomes somewhere down the road.
Get a bidet
Those don’t taste that great though, not for my daily diet anyways…
Hire a ghost to poop for you. Ezpz
Instructions unclear; shit in sink.
Lots of cheese. Don’t need to wipe if your shit is solid as a brick.
sounds like asking for a hemmaroid.
Damn you, I have a sealed block of sharp cheddar that I might have to open tonight…
High fiber and proper hydration.
I actually find low hydration is the best approach. The system removes a lot more moisture from the waste resulting in solid non-smearing packets.
Pretty sure that’s not how that works.
Then you risk constipation.
I eat a lot of fruit. Never drink water though. Hate the stuff.
I drink hella water and eat nothing but greens, beans, and whole grains… stilly sticky as, well, shit. So there’s clearly other factors at play.
So no sugar or even aspartame? Dairy? You might also have an allergy.
I mean, I do season my food, and I have a definite sugar problem. No dairy, I’m intolerant. Probably the sugar, then.
