As call and response in the office whenever two “absolute top priority, over all else” tasks arrive in quick succession;
If everything is urgent?
Nothing is urgent!
This is my life.
“You got the brains god promised a crowbar”
Instead of: ‘your mom’, ‘that’s what she said’, ‘title of your sex tape’, etc… I just say, “jokes”.
Doesn’t matter what the joke is, but what was said definitely has a joke in there somewhere. It’s an implied innuendo, and it’s mostly for my own amusement
“I’m giving 'er all she’s got!!!” = “Jokes”
When someone who is really exasperated exclaims “Jesus Christ!” I respond with, “yes my child?”
When someone says “this is really X” “You know what else is X? something about you, your mother, etc.
Holy shit I didn’t know othe people do the first one as well lmao
I respond to “my god”, usually
“That’s not my problem any more…”
“Brilliant”. In the most sarcastic way possible whenever something goes wrong.
“Wicked” over here.
When a coworker announces that he goes on vacation now (from this to that date, just so everybody knows), I ask:
“Who has approved that?”
in a grave serious tone.
Even if it is some kind of boss of any level.
Works best in large meetings :)
“Es war mir ein inneres Blumenpflücken”
after having a nice time with someone. it translates to
“It was an internal flower picking for me”
meaning this was like picking flowers with you for my mental state
Oh my god I picked up “GG” at some point (I don’t even play MMOs) and I literally say it all the time now. I’ve had to explain it to multiple people too because it’s not like a very normal people term.
Another one is during the Sweet Brown era I was going on a college trip and I used to say “ain’t nobody got time for that” so often that I got my English professor saying it and she was pissed. LOL. Now, due to fiscal constraints, I only say “ain’t nobody got dime for that” :(
My favorite is when someone says some innocuous word or term, and I very angrily ask “what the hell did you call me?!” Works best when it doesn’t really make any sense.
When someone says something to me but I don’t hear them, I’ll hit them with a really aggressive “What did you just say to me?!”.
“It’s an enigma”
What’d you call me?!!
That is fun. I’m a fan
I’ll often repeat things my wife says in the “I’ll x your y” format as if it were a cheesy pickup line. Like, she’ll ask if I can grab the remote, and I’ll say “I’ll grab your remote.” She hates it.
I like to do the one where people say a word ending in an “er” sound (or that could end in that sound) and say “[word]? I don’t even know her!” My worst (best) one recently was when someone said Toyota…
Toyoter? I don’t even know her!
How is it possible that Ive been stealing everybody else’s catchphrases my whole life?
Good to know I’m not the only one! My wife was just talking about watching Pocahontas with our niece, and rolled her eyes so hard when I told her I’d poke her hontas.
Poc-er-hontas? I don’t even know her Hontas!
Sir, I salute you!
Everything is temporary
If it’s not broken, keep fixing it 'til it is.
I teach English in Japan, and I keep it as casual as possible with my students. I always end up saying “See ya!” (I try to use proper English and say “See you.” but it doesn’t always come out that way) at the end of each lesson and that always ends up being the first English my students speak with fluency as a result.
“I’m super not worried about it”
