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Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 days ago

Guaranteed NO ONE ever used this on their face

lemmy.world

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Guaranteed NO ONE ever used this on their face

lemmy.world

Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 days ago
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  • Kami@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    Enjoy the benefits of a cordless massager that gives a gentle penetrating massage

    They totally knew what they were doing.

    • danekrae@lemmy.world
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      7 inches long. Sturdy high impact plastic.

      That’s what everybody asks about when buying products for their face.

      • RandomStickman@fedia.io
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        2 days ago

        eyes, brows, chin, and other parts of the body

        • Hupf@feddit.org
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          2 days ago

          Be careful, some might misuse this as a sex toy.

  • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 days ago

    Yeah, but when I was a kid back in the 80’s and saw them in the mail order catalogs, I completely believed they were just head and neck massagers.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      They can be. Just keep a good grip on the base. You don’t want to choke.

  • KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    I gave one of these to my girlfriend the day before I had to go away on business for 2 months.

    She said “What is this for?”

    I said “It’s a replacement for my you-know-what.”

    She said “Oh, ok. I think I get it.”

    I got home 2 months later and she had 3 chipped teeth.

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      1000001701

    • big_slap@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

  • ReCursing@feddit.uk
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    2 days ago

    I have to massage my face due to nerve damage. I bought a massage gun but it is too violent, so I am seriously considering buyijg a cheap sex toy specifically to massage my face!

    …but I may be the only one

    • cokeslutgarbage@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I use my vibrator on my neck sometimes when I have a migraine, it works really well.

    • tpyo@lemmy.world
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      I advise not to go “cheap” and make sure you get something body safe. (Cheap toys could be made with harmful materials.) Honestly if you go to a sex shop and explain what the need is, they’ll be more than happy to guide you to toys that have the vibrations you need. There’s buzzy or rumbly types and come in a huge range of strengths and textures

      Seriously, they’d be ecstatic to help! And you would absolutely not be the only one

      Unsolicited recommendation?:
      I’m not sure what you need specifically, but something like this might work? https://lovecrave.com/products/vesper It’s small and you can use the tip for pinpoint or the length of it for a larger area. It is rumbly, surprisingly so for such a small device, and has different strengths (and patterns), and doesn’t look like a sex toy

    • dickalan@lemmy.world
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      Even ones with an adjustable dial are too rough? First off I’m sorry you have nerve damage that sucks second off. I hope the hand dildo works.

    • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
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      I use an intimate vibrator on my face occasionally to loose up my sinuses. Just give it a good wash before and after; there’s nothing wrong with it.

      • 𝔄 𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔭𝔦𝔢𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔢𝔰𝔢@lemmy.world
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        Oh my God that is such a great idea

      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 days ago

        “hey honey can you- what the fuck”

      • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Does it work?

        • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
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          Not -always- but when things are really goopy and not going anywhere I can vibe for a couple of minutes until it’s looser and then blow my nose and get my allergy spray in. It’s a nasal spray so I need any room in there to get the meds in. I rub it mostly on my upper cheeks and nose and a little on my forehead.

          • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world
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            Good idea. I may try it myself during allergy season.

    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 days ago

      what about, like, a regular-ass electric toothbrush?

      • ReCursing@feddit.uk
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        Not a bad call, actually

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Get a We-Vibe Touch! It’s got a silicone exterior and it goes from little vibrations to fairly strong.

      • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
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        That’s super pricey for this. Any $15 vibe from Amazon will do.

        • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          That’s fair. I have one for other things and I love it very much.

          • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
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            I have a WeVibe Tango and have loved it for a very long time.

            • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              I have a tango as well! They’re excellent toys!

    • loomy@lemy.lol
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      the gun is good

      • ReCursing@feddit.uk
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        Perhaps the most American statement…

        But no, the massage gun was definitely too violent for what I need for my face

        • loomy@lemy.lol
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          it’s for the head

  • Kaput@lemmy.world
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    I almost bought one as a Christmas present for my mom when I was ten. The last in the catalogue was holding it to her shoulder… I’m so glad I picked the brass penguin instead.

  • Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    What’s the bet that the “sturdy high impact plastic” isn’t body safe?

    • tpyo@lemmy.world
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      Is there a percentage higher than 100?

    • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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      It doesn’t release microplastics, it releases macroplastics.

  • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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    Careful though, it doesn’t have a flared base.

  • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io
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    2 days ago

    massage in cream

    You don’t say…

  • PTSDwarrior@lemmy.ml
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    Reminds me of the Adult Swim ad for salad tossers that looked suspiciously like…a tool that really gives women pleasure. And here it is: Salad Mixxxer

  • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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    I am pretty sure some did, after.

    • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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      🤣

  • mastod0n@lemmy.world
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    It never was intended as a “face massager”.

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