Breathtaking

Hey now, it was eight very strong questions!

Ouais, ça serait une bonne occasion de pratiquer mon français - c’est trop rouillé !

It’s super old-timey

Welp I don’t have children and it would be highly weird if I went around forcing other people’s kids to go play free-range so…

Man why you gotta do us like that Oatmeal

Serious question, have you considered the trades? It seems that jobs like electrician, plumber, auto mechanic, etc are a lot more secure than white collar jobs are right now, especially STEM. I know at least where I live (Philly exurbs) there’s a shortage of electricians, with only 2 going into the trade as 5 retire. You get paid during your training and through the union you get healthcare and a pension. Something to think about.

True, but kids aren’t free-range anymore the way they were when I was growing up in the '80s & '90s. It didn’t used to matter if you had a small backyard if you had a big neighborhood to roam. But from what I understand, kids aren’t allowed to just get on their bikes and go explore like they used to. Larger yards give kids a place to play, to get some fresh air and exercise instead of being indoors glued to a screen.

I mean, before the stupid challenges it was Jackass; before that it was America’s Funniest Home Videos. Dumb entertainment has always existed.

Three hamberders in a trench coat

Ooh, ‘boil the billionaires’ has a nice ring to it

A couple of things:

1. I’m not the ‘park or embankment’ person, I was just using your response to that person to point out why cold-approaching someone for their digits is a bad idea.
2. I’m 43 and married, not sure why that should be relevant? Never meant to imply it was about you; I was using the ‘general you’.
3. The whole point is quality over quantity, which is why it’s in both parties’ interest to chat a bit first and see if there’s potential. It’s a small investment of time and effort to see if there’s anything there that’s worth pursuing. Some guys seem to think it’s a numbers game - that if you just shoot your shot (again, the general you) with a bunch of women, some percentage of them will land. That’s a recipe for frustration. I would never just give my number to a guy who asked for it out of the blue, and I’d reckon most women wouldn’t either.
4. You keep talking about limited locations, but I disagree that they’re limited. Look for women where people go to socialize - bars, live music, book clubs, hobby events (e.g., group hikes if you’re a hiker). And this is the perfect venue to casually chat with the woman and feel out the situation.

I don’t know what to tell you man. There are people all through this thread telling you it’s not as dire and impossible as you seem to think it is.

OP’s parents are in their sixties; they probably were born in the mid '50s to mid '60s and started dating in the '70s/'80s. Courtship probably didn’t factor in unless they’re Mormons or something.

Edit: I re-read and realized OP said his parents are almost 60, meaning almost definitely started their dating lives in the '80s.

If you walk up to random people in a cafe, park, or embankment (really?) and ask for their numbers

So I think this is the disconnect. This isn’t window shopping; you’re trying to connect with another human being. You need to take the time to talk with her, see if she shows interest by engaging and encouraging the conversation, and if there’s any commonality or chemistry between you.

Then, if you think there could be something there, offer to give your number rather than ask for hers. It will help her feel safer with you, and she can choose whether or not to accept and if she takes it, she can choose whether or not to follow up. It puts the onus on her to move things forward.

The social expectation was that the man approaches, but now enough women have said that isn’t acceptable in so many situations that it’s no longer safe to do so in practically any situation.

AKA, “A, B, and C aren’t appropriate, so D through Z aren’t safe either!”

Dude rather than accept some much-needed constraints, you’re having a hissy and throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Context matters a lot, which means you need to put yourself out there in the right context to meet someone. Examples: trivia night at the local bar, or a book club, or a local live music show. Most women aren’t gonna be interested if you approach them while they’re just living their lives grocery shopping or at the gym* or something - that’s not a social context. (*Unless you’re regulars at the gym and run into each other and chitchat all the time, but I’m assuming you’re not in that kind of situation.)

Once you’re in the right context, and you see a woman you’re interested in, start by very casually talking to her, and keep an eye out for signs of interest (e.g., turning in their seat toward you which indicates they’re giving the conversation real attention, or moving the conversation forward by making jokes or asking follow-up questions) or disinterest (e.g., one word answers with no follow-up engagement, turning their body away from you, mentioning a boyfriend). If you see signs of disinterest, just stop and let her be. But if you see signs of interest, continue the conversation. Don’t be too needy, don’t come on too strong, let the conversation breathe. And for godsake don’t buy her drinks, it’s cheesy and puts too much pressure on a new situation. Especially don’t buy her a drink without even asking her first, it’s pushy and I can’t speak for all women, but I fucking hate that. Ask her about herself, for example her interests. Try to get a gauge on whether you’re attracted to her on more than a physical level. If you have nothing in common, or you think she’s boring or annoying, there’s no sense in moving forward. But if there seems to be commonality and interest, keep the conversation going! If one of you is leaving, tell her you’re glad you ran into her that night and ask if you can give her your number (or email address or social media, whatever young people do, I’m middle-aged so I don’t know). But the important thing is that you’re offering her something rather than asking her for something. This means she can say no, or if she says yes, she still has the choice on whether or not to follow up with you. It puts the control in her hands which can make her feel more safe.

Good luck, I hear it’s rough out there for folks your age.

Animé from ages 15-18. It was the mid-to-late '90s and only the weird kids were into animé. My social life improved immensely when I grew out of that phase.

Make it so!

April 5th (First Contact day)