you right, i fell for it

why would they give a fuck, they’re getting fucked by the social contract, they get paid twice as much to inherit a burning planet and absolutely no prospects to have a home or even ever leave their childhood home, for the shit thankless work that customer service always has been

all for the “privilege” of making billionaires richer and furthering the destruction of the planet they’re inheriting

tbf, things were going downhill in 2008, but things are fully off the rails now, we at least had delusions of hope back then

fell for it award edit: from limited experience, i’ve found it can be helpful to talk to young folks about the power of organizing and collective action. they’re perpetually burned out from having nothing they can do to improve their circumstances, but this is a powerful avenue that, if communicated properly, can motivate them to become more invested both in their own situations, and that of others

quick check on your basics. sleep, hydration, food, hygiene. make sure they’re square

if you’re good on that front, get a good exercise session in (or work up to it, do a little bit of exercise over the next few days and build up your tolerance)

do something nice for yourself, something that preferably has a sensory component. have a nice meal with good smells and textures, or a warm bubble bath, or wash your blankets and curl up in them, or throw some ASMR on, or… you know, whatever does it for ya

go for a walk when the weather isn’t too hot

good easy ways to pull yourself out of a slight dip. kinda been there myself, this the type of shit i been doing, too

drawing is a wonderful skill that allows you to express ideas in a way that words simply cannot

it really helped me a lot to express the sort of things i was going through when i was depressed. it helped because i could express the feelings without explaining the situation or having to put it in words

do you have friends that would be supportive of your drawings? if you don’t, you could even post them online or here. but i think having a place to show your art and get feedback helps a lot (ofc, if you want to keep your art to yourself, that’s perfectly okay too)

https://drawabox.com/ if you want to give it a try

what does that distinction mean to you, aside from the literal wording being different?

oh you mean they’re not diagnosed with depression, they are only reporting higher scores of anxiety and depression, i see

i don’t understand what the implication is here. is more likely to report depression symptoms meaningfully distinct from having them? do we think that men born in the summer are just more honest about their mental health struggles?

well uh, i get an error “cannot complete request”, so,

organizing work, mutual aid, and unionizing work is the new work of seeing and being seen. hell, give it long enough and it might usurp churches as third places

lmao i understand the point you’re trying to make (“happiness is an equation largely derived from our social circle”; and, not coincidentally, women tend to have bigger ones) but, per the article:

It’s worth noting that consistent with past research, both men and women in relationships were happier than their single counterparts, on average.

again, i understand your point, they just literally contradicted it lmao

it was my hope that explaining things the way i had would expose OP’s contradictory behavior, although i would certainly hear you out if you felt i could have approached it better

i added my 2c because i thought OP might be more amenable if the point about the woman who had been abused was conceded, as well as trying to clear up the understanding about why we gauge people based on how they gender people they don’t like

i think you’re probably right about them feeling directly empathic about the situation, although i don’t think that excuses the way they were behaving. they were pretty clear upfront about defending the woman who had been abused, so i feel like if they had an equally understandable story, they would have been upfront about it as well. of course, that is an assumption on my part, which could be incorrect, but i think questioning why they felt like their behavior was OK was fair

Banning is language control

yyyyyyyyes, you’re correct. what i meant in my post was more like, we cannot control what OP thinks or how OP speaks of people personally. like, we literally have no power there. i intended to juxtapose that with what you’ve mentioned, banning and such, but perhaps i wasn’t as clear as i could have been

i hear what you’re saying about issuing a warning vs a ban, although they had a direct dialogue with ada about the situation, so not sure how much more of a warning would have been effective. and, you know, sometimes one does want to just silence the opposition; it’s not every person or every space’s job to be persuasive and understanding; as you say, we are an online safe space for trans people, not the government. i definitely don’t disagree with ada’s moderation style for LBZ, and i don’t disagree with her choice here, either

the things you’re explaining are things i’ve been thinking about, though, so i appreciate you saying them, regardless

so uh, generally, as transgender people and allies, we use one’s respect of a transgender person’s gender as a gauge of how valid they perceive the self identification of gender

and this includes trans people who have done shitty things, committed crimes, or, as in your case, been abusive

we use this as a gauge because it reflects how much the viewer believes that respect of gender identity is a right vs a privilege. if a trans person commits a crime or wrongs you, and you decide misgendering that person is OK, then it would seem you think treating trans people as their gender is revocable i.e. a privilege, not a right

it’s not so much “hurting our feelings” as, indicating to us, that trans rights are not important to you, or that the transgender identity is only worth respecting if you’re a “good person”, or whatever you judge is such

now, i will say, it’s completely understandable that the woman you’re talking about has trouble gendering her abuser correctly, for many reasons you have pointed out, and i think it would have been good for her to have been met with more compassion, since this can be a difficult thing even for people coming from less abusive circumstances

however, i would also note that you are misgendering her abuser, and you have no such defense, so why do you feel like it’s alright to misgender someone because they’re an abuser? you say you’re a staunch defender of LGBTQ rights, but for the reasons i explained above, those actions are not reflective of that ideal

defending this abused woman, in this case, makes a lot of sense. but you have no defense for misgendering her abuser, you were not the one abused, so why are you doing it?

obviously, we can’t control your language. however, free speech is not a guaranteed right, here in this community, and honestly, i would advocate for you to be banned here, too, since it really seems like you care more about your ability to misgender someone because you think they’re bad, rather than recognize that trans people can do bad things, and we can still condemn that (and honestly, insult them and call them bastards or whatever), without having to resort to misgendering them and furthering the normalization of delegitimizing trans people

do you game or do other hobbies that keep your hands busy but your ears open? throw up some of those self love affirmation videos off youtube, the ones you’re supposed to listen to while sleeping. i can’t speak for if they work while you sleep, they’d keep me up, but they work great as essentially background noise and help your mood and self compassion improve over time