Kid has a penis and is 1wk old. I feel like the day to day right now is just making sure he’s not sitting in his own piss/shit and feeding him until he passes out every 2-3 hrs. He’s 1wk old so I don’t know when I’m supposed to start stimulating him, but there’s very little awake time that isn’t either “I’m sitting in my own peepoo”…“my ping pong sized stomach is empty”…or just crying for whatever reason other than the first two. It seems every time he feeds, he conks out until the next feeding/diaper change so I take great pride in creating a tit milk drunk baby that passes tfo (pumping only *will explain below). We put him on his stomach to piss him off and develop some neck/back muscles every now and then when he’s not full of my wife’s liquid gold. I sing to him (I’m a vocalist/amateur musician sort of) when I’m doing the war crime of changing or swaddling (I roll tight burritos) but that’s about it. Mild case of jaundice but rebounded hard after we started pumping/bottle feeding. Most likely related to not getting enough food. See *

I come from a moderately high performing family (doctors/stem professionals and such) so theres a lot of pressure to make sure this kid isnt a dipshit. I’m playing all kinds of music while he sleeps (doesn’t seem to be affected by noise while sleeping) but I can’t teach the kid math until he at least understands object permanence right? I also feel like all that classical music Montessori stuff isbcomplete horseshit and I’m much more concerned with just making sure the kid is a good person but I also want onto pull the right levers and flip the right switches where I can.

The bottom line is: Am I doing it wrong or is this it for a while until he can stay awake while changed and fed? Is it normal? I feel like I’m just drugging a child to sleep. Looking for any input. Thanks.

Also, if there’s any words of wisdom for my anxious wife (see *) that would be helpful. She’s struggling with the whole breast feeding issue even though she’s creating a massive surplus at day 7 and we’ve only supplemented with formula for 3 feeds total. I’m super proud of her for pushing through cracked sensitive nips and I’m stoked that this kid is getting anything natural but she feels like a failure for not direct feeding which i guess i understand is “ideal” but shes killing it pumping. My reassurances don’t seem to comfort her unfortunately

*Kid falls asleep 1min after he latches without fail and my wife is super anxious about not breast feeding but she pumps out a surplus of milk. He wasnt getting enough sustenance after birth but he’s ravenous on the bottle. 2-4 oz every feed maybe 2.50z average.

Edit: my biggest gripe is that I’m killing 24/7 and this kid has literally no sense of humor. I was hoping for paternal instinct but all I got was killer dad jokes.

  • SinningStromgald@lemmy.world
    7·
    1 day ago

    The bottom line is: Am I doing it wrong or is this it for a while until he can stay awake while changed and fed? Is it normal? I feel like I’m just drugging a child to sleep. Looking for any input. Thanks.

    I said it somewhere else but kids, newborns especially, do very few things: eat, shit, piss, burp and sleep. So yes you are doing things right. In fact, enjoy how easy it is now because it won’t be for long. And there is no harm talking to a newborn. If it is just you and the wife in the house and you take care of the baby in shifts then unloading a stream of conciseness can be therapeutic.

    when I’m doing the war crime of changing or swaddling

    I’ve helped care a number of babies and still can’t swaddle one for shit so I’m jealous. Probably why my burritos always end being eating with a fork/spoon.

    Kid falls asleep 1min after he latches without fail and my wife is super anxious about not breast feeding but she pumps out a surplus of milk. He wasnt getting enough sustenance after birth but he’s ravenous on the bottle. 2-4 oz every feed maybe 2.50z average.

    Your child is a classic “lazy eater”. They can and will latch but doing the work afterwards ain’t happening. He wants the easy feeding of a bottle and unless you wanna starve him then give it to him. He is still getting all the benefits of breast milk and your wife is still doing the work of pumping so no shame there. Make sure you keep the negative Nancy types who talk down on women who can’t/don’t breastfeed away from your wife.