It’s hurtful that they think I’d even be threatening and nasty. That they just immediately assume I’m some kind of monster. It makes me feel like I have no value.
You don’t know that anyone who responds this way actually thinks this. There are a limited amount of ways to communicate that they’re not interested and over-explaining and hedging their niceness would also just backfire. They gave exactly as much explanation as needed. It may come off a bit stiff because the tone is neutral (and they only use “I” sentences - speaking only what they know to be true instead of projecting with “you” sentences).
You may want more validation and that’s fine. But nobody owes it to you. You say “they just immediately assume I’m some kind of monster” - but you could be doing the same thing in assuming their motivations when they only speak neutrally.
You may want more validation and that’s fine. But nobody owes it to you.
To repeat the exact point of your comment, you don’t know that the person you’re responding to actually thinks this or deserves this characterization. It is extremely uncharitable.
To make my own uncharitable characterization, It sounds a lot like bullying someone with therapy speak for stepping out of line.
assuming their motivations when they only speak neutrally.
And yet not a single response can be seen in this vein on comment after comment from the clear majority repeating over and over that the woman is protecting herself from bodily harm by speaking this way. Nobody seems to be telling them that they’re making assumptions. Only this guy gets this response.
In conclusion, as naive and simple as it sounds, let’s just be fucking nice to each other. Even to those you imagine deserve no respect or ‘special treatment’ (which is usually code for respect).
Internalizing that last bit is something I really wish more worked very hard to do. And it is very hard. I’m probably screwing it up here. But I’m trying. For what that’s worth.
To repeat the exact point of your comment, you don’t know that the person you’re responding to actually thinks this or deserves this characterization.
Which is why I said “you may”. I didn’t claim that he does. But if he does, it’s okay to do so. However, most people appreciate some kind of validation. You seem to think that entertaining this characterization is “uncharitable”. This wasn’t my intention, quite the opposite.
And yet not a single response can be seen in this vein on comment after comment from the clear majority repeating over and over that the woman is protecting herself from bodily harm by speaking this way. Nobody seems to be telling them that they’re making assumptions. Only this guy gets this response.
Why didn’t you either?
In conclusion, as naive and simple as it sounds, let’s just be fucking nice to each other. Even to those you imagine deserve no respect or ‘special treatment’ (which is usually code for respect).
Internalizing that last bit is something I really wish more worked very hard to do. And it is very hard. I’m probably screwing it up here. But I’m trying. For what that’s worth.
Nobody deserves to be judged for the circumstances of their birth. If you make any exceptions, you’re breaking the social contract and nobody is obliged to tolerate you.
nobody said anything about circumstances. this is about men not doing shit about the patriarchy while at the same time painting themselves as the victims of it
It’s hurtful that they think I’d even be threatening and nasty. That they just immediately assume I’m some kind of monster. It makes me feel like I have no value.
You don’t know that anyone who responds this way actually thinks this. There are a limited amount of ways to communicate that they’re not interested and over-explaining and hedging their niceness would also just backfire. They gave exactly as much explanation as needed. It may come off a bit stiff because the tone is neutral (and they only use “I” sentences - speaking only what they know to be true instead of projecting with “you” sentences).
You may want more validation and that’s fine. But nobody owes it to you. You say “they just immediately assume I’m some kind of monster” - but you could be doing the same thing in assuming their motivations when they only speak neutrally.
To repeat the exact point of your comment, you don’t know that the person you’re responding to actually thinks this or deserves this characterization. It is extremely uncharitable.
To make my own uncharitable characterization, It sounds a lot like bullying someone with therapy speak for stepping out of line.
And yet not a single response can be seen in this vein on comment after comment from the clear majority repeating over and over that the woman is protecting herself from bodily harm by speaking this way. Nobody seems to be telling them that they’re making assumptions. Only this guy gets this response.
In conclusion, as naive and simple as it sounds, let’s just be fucking nice to each other. Even to those you imagine deserve no respect or ‘special treatment’ (which is usually code for respect).
Internalizing that last bit is something I really wish more worked very hard to do. And it is very hard. I’m probably screwing it up here. But I’m trying. For what that’s worth.
Which is why I said “you may”. I didn’t claim that he does. But if he does, it’s okay to do so. However, most people appreciate some kind of validation. You seem to think that entertaining this characterization is “uncharitable”. This wasn’t my intention, quite the opposite.
Why didn’t you either?
Thank you, I can tell you’re trying.
#notallmen. spare us the crocodile tears
Stop being an ass.
Oops, your prejudice is showing.
Nobody deserves to be judged for the circumstances of their birth. If you make any exceptions, you’re breaking the social contract and nobody is obliged to tolerate you.
nobody said anything about circumstances. this is about men not doing shit about the patriarchy while at the same time painting themselves as the victims of it
Being born a man is a circumstance, and if you judge someone for it it’s prejudice.
This right here, also Goomba Fallacy.
Being born a mansplainer who’s never read a feminist book is also a circumstance, one that you forced yourself into.
if y’all hate being men so much, that’s also not a circumstance. your sex is mutable, and I’m telling you this as a trans woman
You’re projecting hon