Very advanced witnessing techniques are required, such as compromat or threat of hanging.

I’m pretty sure it comes from here: https://objectiveministries.org/kidz/

I want to believe its satire but I honestly can’t tell. If it is satire it is exceptionally well done.

I don’t believe in a higher power. That’s why I’m so fucking grumpy. It’s certainly not because we can’t have healthcare. It’s not because of a genocide. It’s not because workers are exploited. Not because our planet is destroyed. No, it’s all because I don’t believe in a cloud man.

Witness to me and I’ll gore you with my horns. Bah.