I don’t know if I am suicidal or not but I do wish I didn’t exist, almost daily and that too very elaborate, like eating a bullet and meeting the pavement head first from a height and I am very mentally disturbed, like when I am depressed really I imagine myself rotting in dumpyard:::
And I ask myself why am I living? The only answer I get is, myself. Thinking about politics and the worsening state of affairs just make me want to day dream about ww3 and post apoc situations … and see worsening mental health
Yeah, in my case ECT (shock treatment for the layfolk. Zapping my brain.) is on the table, and the research I’ve done on it is not reassuring that they know what they’re doing.
So I’ve thought about this at extreeeeeeeme length and with a philosophy background could probably argue before a judge… assuming the court wasn’t corrupt.
If they do I’ll regard it as suicide-lite: They’re destroying parts of my brain so that my behavior is less offensive. I’m sure I’ll love Big Brother will all my heart.
Ernest Hemingway and David Foster Wallace both got ECT, and decided they didn’t like who they were after the fact, eventually taking their lives. So if I go that route, it will be an absolute last resort.
brother your vent is way too influential ngl.
:::Depression rant, a little graphic
I don’t know if I am suicidal or not but I do wish I didn’t exist, almost daily and that too very elaborate, like eating a bullet and meeting the pavement head first from a height and I am very mentally disturbed, like when I am depressed really I imagine myself rotting in dumpyard:::
And I ask myself why am I living? The only answer I get is, myself. Thinking about politics and the worsening state of affairs just make me want to day dream about ww3 and post apoc situations … and see worsening mental health
Yeah, in my case ECT (shock treatment for the layfolk. Zapping my brain.) is on the table, and the research I’ve done on it is not reassuring that they know what they’re doing.
So I’ve thought about this at extreeeeeeeme length and with a philosophy background could probably argue before a judge… assuming the court wasn’t corrupt.
If they do I’ll regard it as suicide-lite: They’re destroying parts of my brain so that my behavior is less offensive. I’m sure I’ll love Big Brother will all my heart.
Ernest Hemingway and David Foster Wallace both got ECT, and decided they didn’t like who they were after the fact, eventually taking their lives. So if I go that route, it will be an absolute last resort.