Short people will not go to heaven.
Well, obviously. They can’t reach.
Short people got no reason to live
Not OP, but I didn’t realize it was obscure lol
When I got my first tattoo 30 years ago, my then mother-in-law said I’d be in prison soon enough. So far I’ve managed to be a good citizen (it seems following the law is easy), but I’ve got a plan for this to prove her right. When I’m about to go bye bye , I’m going to strip naked and run around on live TV, probably at a sporting event. That will at least get me arrested, and if I resist arrest and generally be annoying, I’m might go to prison to let the state pay for all the medical things associated with my demise. These tattoos are a bad influence. Hell awaits.
my mom said i’d go to prison if i got an electric bike and she’s right. the local prison has a bike shop as part of their programs and i bought my bike there
What about people who wear solid color t-shirts that have long-ass slogans on them which are super specific and seemingly only apply to a single person on the entire face of the Earth often written in a variety of fonts and font-sizes and including bizarre details about their lives like the t-shirt that was given to me by my same-sex lover on the second Saturday in June of 2021 to celebrate the fact that I managed to clear an entire thornless blackberry bush of berries that we used to make the most delicious blackberry cobbler from that very same evening?
What’s hilarious is I actually have that shirt
Who hurt you?
Did Randy Newman answer your question personally?
What if god said you may go to heaven only if you climb these stairs but you’re on a wheelchair type shit
Do you think the pearly gates have one of those “You must be THIS high to ride” signs outside?
Removed tattoos, just like lost limbs, will return when you enter Heaven.
Ah, so when entering heaven, I’ll get mind back?
Not excited about getting my impacted wisdom teeth back. I’m starting to think God’s a bit of a dick.
my wife is happier without her lost organs just like i’m happier without my lost ones. please no.
“Fuck short people” - Randy Newman
good to know I will never be at risk of going to heaven because I’m short
Heavn is a human construct, so really, nobody’s going there.
Did they pull that last bit from the Doors song?
Lemmyshortpost
Sounds like heaven is not for cool kids
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners have much more fun. Only the good die young.
Well since I’m already short and can’t do anything about it, I guess I’m free to have as much pork, alcohol, and tattoos as I please!
You just rediscovered Dark Calvinism
Yo, I like this.
Almost makes me miss /r/ketodrunk
*c/ketodrunk
This is not reddit, this is lemmy. Just wanted to remind it.
That’s why I said miss it. Believe it or not, Reddit did and still does exist. I’d like to think we’re not a cult that demands pretending that our before-lives never existed.
c/mandelaeffect
I see many people here collectively misremembering a platform called reddit and not gonna lie, I kind of also do somehow
my god you’re right
they’re talking about a subreddit though
Pork tattoos!
Tats of Piggies getting shitfaced.
…and eating lobster
