That’s the best way I can describe it. Just neverending. Which sounds obvious but the actual experience of always having to parent, phew…
I’m not having the best day today. He’s on summer break and hanging with me all day. We did okay yesterday but today it was just a domino of me feeling disappointed in myself that the house is always a mess and probably a level beyond that, like there’s too much stuff to fit. But my own level of non-cleanliness has rubbed off on my kid cause there’s no proper place to put his stuff. So I started cleaning then asked him to do some small tasks but I was feeling resentful for how he seems to just drop things wherever. I get it, you also got to teach them how to clean up and implement chores etc. and thus adds to the relentless grind of having to have these long term parenting plans but also try to be present in the moment and enjoy things and somehow have endless stores of patience. Today I definitely haven’t. I’ve lost my shit and yelled and just let things domino out of control into a terrible grouchiness. I know some days suck and we get up and try again. Just wanted to get it out I guess. No advice needed. Just ranting to rant.
Years from now you’ll remember the good times and the shitty days won’t be rembered often. Kids idolize their parents whether we’re worthy or not. My house is a mess too. We are all just getting by some days. Don’t beat yourself up. Try to make tomorrow a little better.
Thanks. Yea I fall into these cycles of telling myself not to get frustrated and then I do even though there’s a voice telling me this isn’t helping, by being short with my kid etc. I know they’re resilient, but man it doesn’t feel good when you react to your buttons getting pushed and the filters come off. Sigh. yea tomorrow’s another day.