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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 7th, 2023

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  • In my opinion, guy friendships need to be doing something together. We don’t call each other up out of a blue and talk to each other about deep things. We don’t share our emotions other than on a high level or in extreme cases.

    The good friends I have. I always do stuff with. I have one really good friend who I always hike with every weekend. I have another good friend group that plays video games together most nights. If you remove those people from my life, I don’t have a single male friend left that I talk with more than once a year.

    I always figured that’s why watching and playing sports was so important to guys. It’s the glue that holds male friendships together. (Or in my case, playing online video games)




  • I feel like what some of you guys miss. Here is understanding what makes life fun. Certain superpowers would make life criminally boring and the goal would be to get power so that you can do what you want with your life, try different things out, be safe and secure, but still have a life that has meaning.

    If you are too overpowered or have things that allow you to see way past what being human is, then you’d be stuck all alone looking at humans that look like ants to you and you’d be bored out of your skull. I kind of feel like that’s what Dr. Manhattan was except I think the reality would be worse.

    You have to look at what phase two of this super power would be. I kind of like the save point one or something that gives you control to do what you want, but you still have to deal with the consequences. That way you gain a lot of control over your life, but you still have to live it with consequences. It would kind of be like winning the lottery. It would be turning the video game on easy mode, but not making it so easy you don’t want to play.






  • Meh. My wife and I had kids based upon our own thoughts of how we wanted our life to go, not based upon some reproduction drive. The sex drive is a totally different thing, but there was no urge and pull to have kids for us.

    We’ve had three kids and it’s been an incredible experience with very few downsides and massive upsides. I was not a “kid person” before having kids, but IMO it’s one of the peek good experiences in life.





  • My parents-in-law came from an African country where they had opinions similar to South Africa and apartheid. Basically blacks were okay but it was shameful if someone black married one of their children. They immigrated to San Francisco and lo and behold, one of their daughters started dating a black guy.

    When it can’t to light she was ostracized from the family by her mom. Now, she said she did this, but it was really only the parents who tried to break contact. All her siblings were perfectly fine with this and didn’t break contact and in fact my wife and i supported them when they moved to the city we lived in to get resettled.

    To cut to the chase, after about 5 years the mother and daughter worked things out and now every is accepting of their relationship. I took the mom a few years to get over it.

    I guess my point is, I would almost just ignore this, if you’re a good couple they’ll get over it eventually and it’ll be fine. And if not, fuck 'em.





  • So does straight edge strictly refer to not doing drugs? If that’s the definition, then I’m a straight edged person… Hell, I don’t even drink and I work for a Scottish company where all my co-workers drink like fish.

    I’m not religious, it has just always seemed dumb to me that people felt they needed to be inebriated to have a good time. Maybe this is just the normal for them so they don’t know any different? But doesn’t that seem pretty stupid? Anyways, I was stubborn in college and resisted peer pressure and by the time I didn’t care anymore, I just never saw the need to start drinking (or doing drugs). But I’m not here preach, I don’t really care what you do as long as it doesn’t affect me (i.e. drunk driving).

    I’m a CTO for a midsized company. I have three kids and I’ve been happily married for over 25 years. Between my friends, there are more people who don’t drink than those who do, but at work I’m definitely the oddball… But I’m also old enough that I don’t really give a shit what other people think so I’m perfectly happy going along and being the guy who doesn’t drink.


  • I actually have enough money to retire right now and live frugally for the rest of my life at the age of 51… But to be honest it sounds super boring and depressing.

    I know this will go against the grain here, but I enjoy what I do. I’m an engineering manager and I work on cool and interesting projects. I enjoy what the extra money gets me, whether it’s vacations or a better place to live or whatever. I enjoy working with other intelligent engineers trying to solve challenging problems. If I was retired I wouldn’t have that same engagement. I don’t know what I’d do with my time and I’m afraid I would not spend it in a healthy way.

    So the reality is I’ve thought about it, but I’m not really that interested in retiring even though I could.