Also, a lot of games hide it in load screens and don’t explicitly tell you. If you’ve ever updated a game and first run seems to be slower to load, that’s the game compiling shaders for you.

Well you are insufferable.

Not wrong, just insufferable.

The third sub-heading is simply “Bullshit”. The fact that they describe how a “Bullshitter” differs from “Liar” is a TIL for me… I never really thought about it before, but the description here is spot on.

Watching the credits for Super Metroid for the first time.

That end card probably stayed on my tv for for like an hour while I just sat there.

Or they made their seasonal change from their summers to winters, and if, like me, you have separate rims so you can easily do it at home, you now get to drive around with the car whining about no tpms. Because fucking cars can’t have this as built in diagnostic functionality in these giant computers on wheels.

When I have time I’ll pop over to a shop that can reprogram them to the second set, but it’s not exactly priority numero uno.

I suspect more than a few of us are feeling called out with this comment.

A lot of comments on here saying “but X is better”. Y’all are missing the point though. These “better technologies” are not being used in the creative and fun ways that flash was - not to the scale that we saw in peak Newgrounds/HomestarRunner era. It goes to show that no one company should ever control tools and the stuff our works are built upon. A lesson we, as a society, sure struggle to learn.

Don’t get me wrong, my rose tinted glasses aren’t all the way on. I remember critical infrastructure systems developed in flash of all fucking things.

But a very real piece of the creative internet died with flash. Maybe it’s a coincidence, and it’s the corpo-sites we all congregate around now to blame. I don’t know. Peak internet was 2000-2010 and I’ll stake my flag on that hill - don’t @ me.

I can’t recall another game with a free roam camera that gave lore to their camera. You control two characters at the same time!

My head canon is that Lakitu is the camera operator in all Nintendo games to this day.

Might be something you can do on Switch 2 pro controller with GL/GR at least?

I can’t speak for BOTW but the remap capability in the NSO Classics is such a massive improvement that I’m finally playing N64 games on it.

I kind of hold out hope that maybe maybe it’s a sign Nintendo is finally pulling it’s head from its ass when it comes to letting us change controls.

Depending on how many fucks I had to give that day, might have even written that in the comments!

looks at caption above image

looks at image

Sure… but like… PICK ONE.

You get to be one of todays lucky 10 thousand!

It’s one of those holdover things a good number internet old webcomics do, including the linked XKCD. It’s one of those things that’s effortless with your traditional mouse-keyboard desktop setup, because you hover your mouse and magically the alt-text appears without having to really find it. But for new users in the touch screen era? As you say, yeah, definitely obtuse. :)

To keep that metaphor going, if you are online, you are in Detroit.

My first fucking thought was was “yeah, how about no, I’m in fucking zoom calls all fucking day at work.” I give them credit, interesting idea as a high concept thing, but like no chance I’m even giving this 10 minutes even if the reviews weren’t utter shit.

Make button that fit big toe perfectly, get button pressed by big toe.

Logic.

I was about to say, I recognize that name… Then I saw forum name and the year…

I was there Gandalf, 3000 years ago…

Nobody:

Me:  "This meme format makes no fucking sense!"

Ha, this was no fucking discussion. You moved the goal posts, I pointed out why that new goal is still not a problem today, and you’re now trying to worm your way out by saying you didn’t read my response.

Classy. Fucking classy.

Real fucking problem, yeah.

But think on this scale:

• Cheats built into game and anyone can turn on
• Cheats downloaded for free
• Cheats cost money and sophisticated
• Cheats require hardware and setup time and probably more money

The number of people that will cheat is less at each tier right? What if we remove the risk of ban at each tier vs a higher risk of ban?

If a dev does fucking nothing at those mid tiers, more people will cheat. If they build a reputation and ban a bunch of people, it encourages more people to give it up. Stubborn ones persist and go down to the next tier but they will be fewer in number. Ideally we make it so the cheat doesn’t work at each tier but each one is also harder to prevent.

It’s about playing the numbers. 1 in 100 players cheating sucks. 1 in 1000 cheaters isn’t great. 1 in a million? That’s a lot better risk.

So what happens if devices become popular and common? Great question. I guess everyone that gives a shit quits playing games? Every game is locked down with stream fed into AI, wave our hands and “magically” a server is making the decision for us?

I don’t know.

Until we get to that point, I accept the tools that work for now.

Not to mention you just cannot ever trust the client to be running the the code it says it is on the hardware it says it is.

And this is the problem. I really don’t think you’re aware of how fucking sophisticated cheats are. Anti-cheat software isn’t looking for people with high K:D’s or or snappy aimbots. The server can’t tell if you can see through the walls. The server has no way to know what’s also running on your computer.

Anti-cheat is looking for signs and signatures of those tools cheaters use. And, no, it’s not as easy as looking for a process called “TEH-HAX0RS.exe”. It’s borderline virus levels of sneaky, simulating regular processes. And, just like malware, there is business incentive for these people to be a step ahead of the anti-cheats because stupid kids still keep buying these fucking things. Antivirus and Anticheat are both fighting basically the same people.

I’m not going to disagree that it sucks and some games just make it too fucking easy to begin with by having poor code and structure, but by and large, if it was easy to detect cheaters in the server, it would have been done by now.

If privacy is your number one priority, abso-fucking-lutely don’t play the game. Or at least use a dedicated PC or game console. That said, ruining the enjoyment of the game for everyone else by letting cheaters have a field day will be less acceptable to the game buying public.