I am only late if you’re one of those jackasses who says “if you’re not 15 minutes early, you’re late.” Fuck those people. Being on time is, like, the one thing I have trouble with that I have found ways of managing/coping with. Quit moving the goalposts.

What about those of us who are obsessively on time? Nobody else is on time however, and it makes me want to beat my head into the wall.

I literally just had a mental argument with myself over when to set my morning alarm (which I will additionally argue with myself over how many times and for how long to snooze in the morning)