Can’t shake the pervasive feeling that every person I pass is a threat to my wife, that we might get attacked for being trans. Being around people was never easy even when I wasn’t visibly queer and trans. People are exhausting and I don’t trust their stated motivations. I don’t like the way we’re looked at, when I do make eye contact with someone I regularly see extremely negative emotions written on their face. Feel unsafe and incompetent and anger starts to build up.
I’m four months on T this month and the decision to start was pretty significantly influenced by these feelings and the fear it would only continue to get worse. It feels impossible to begin to start interacting with people again, logically I know it’s the next necessary step but anxiety, trauma make it super easy to avoid indefinitely. Does anyone relate or have advice?
Your fears are, unfortunately, completely rational given the world we live in. You are not crazy. Still, it can be difficult to navigate life with feelings like that constantly affecting your life, peace, and happiness. I strongly, recommend seeking out regular therapy. A good therapist can help give you the tools you need to live your best life when you are feeling lost and overwhelmed. Also keep in mind that therapists aren’t all the same, you need to find the right one for you. Sometimes you need to go through a few. I hope you find the happiness and peace you deserve. This internet stranger is rooting for you and sending all their love and support. ❤️