Can’t shake the pervasive feeling that every person I pass is a threat to my wife, that we might get attacked for being trans. Being around people was never easy even when I wasn’t visibly queer and trans. People are exhausting and I don’t trust their stated motivations. I don’t like the way we’re looked at, when I do make eye contact with someone I regularly see extremely negative emotions written on their face. Feel unsafe and incompetent and anger starts to build up.
I’m four months on T this month and the decision to start was pretty significantly influenced by these feelings and the fear it would only continue to get worse. It feels impossible to begin to start interacting with people again, logically I know it’s the next necessary step but anxiety, trauma make it super easy to avoid indefinitely. Does anyone relate or have advice?
Please seek counseling.
And I know you don’t know me, but if you were to walk past me or my family, you’ll receive no judgment from us. We love you all the same. But please do seek counseling. There are many of us out there who love you.