My wife is definitely trying to drum up the courage to kick me out. There’s no other reason for that kind of anger. Yeah, it’s the same things she’s always gotten mad at me for, but not like this. It’s forced, not her normal anger. I may have a job to escape to, but holy hell, I am in so…much…pain, and I only sat here off and on trying to find other jobs. Oof! I am so worried these pains will make it impossible to juggle a job and survive. Contrary to what my family believes, these pains are not fake. I am not lying about them. They are horrible. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch!
Erf! Sorry, this is just a rant. My mind is shot when these pains shoot up this high.
She wants to kick you out for having chronic pain?
Eh, because I didn’t throw a piece of trash away. Or I don’t have a job. Or I don’t do anything around the house (Yeah, the house is a blasted mess, but every time I feel good I clean, and rare times my body let’s me clean thoroughly), I don’t fix things in a timely manner. Or because I’m lying about my pains. Or because her dad told her to. Lots of reasons actually. A few deserved, most not, though. This has actually been ongoing since we got together. “Like father, like son”, or “Cats in the cradle”, or “sins of the father”, you might say.
The only thing deserved is kindness and care, which it doesnt sound like you are receiving.
Nope. I realized back in 2018 that she really doesn’t know me. She’s never seen that I like to clean, and that throughout my life with these pains I’ve tried so hard to find ways to keep the house clean, and she’d always get mad at me for it (Justifiably and not at the same time).
Which, unfortunately, giving up so often has really caused a huge problem, learned behavior is going to be troubling to deal with. Meh, if I don’t get something done with my pains (Or a safer job found) and the issues solved from the NSAIDs, the “bad learned behavior” is going to be the least of my problems.
Alrighty, I finally told her I know. So now maybe she’ll stop getting so angry, and I can keep focusing on trying to find a job, and making my resume better. I really screwed up giving up so often trying to please her, as I’ve got diddly squat for skills (for non-physical labor), so this is going to be hell. O_o.
Unless I can find a botanical garden that needs someone without skills that knows a lot about ferns, 🤣 .
Man, I have a lot of knowledge in my head, assembly & c programming, wiring up houses, woodworking (carpentry, design, etc), hell I bet I could have learned cad in just a few months, but alas, NOOOOOOO! I’m 50 now, me brain no learn well any more, and I’m in too much pain to be able to do much for the 8 hours needed. FFS! 😠
