- cross-posted to:
- news@beehaw.org
- cross-posted to:
- news@beehaw.org
Thick white smoke billowed from the chimney above the Sistine Chapel on Thursday, signalling to the world that the Roman Catholic church has a new pope.
The smoke was met with loud applause from the thousands of pilgrims and tourists waiting in St Peter’s Square. It means that one of the 133 cardinals inside the chapel has obtained the necessary two-thirds majority required to win the conclave, the secretive centuries-old ritual of electing a new pontiff.
In a further confirmation that the conclave is over, the bells of St Peter’s Basilica rang out. The pope was chosen on the second day of voting, after the fourth ballot, although his identity was not immediately made known. When Jorge Bergoglio, who became Pope Francis, was elected in March 2013, his identity was revealed about 45 minutes after the white smoke when he appeared on the balcony above St Peter’s Square.
American pope!
crowd boos
woke for an American!
crowd goes wild
bad on protecting abusive priests!
crowd boos
hates JD Vance!
crowd goes wild
If he is nearly as politically active as Pope Francis was, grab your sits cause the chain of boos and applauses will go on for a decade
The sprinkles contain MSG!
crowd stares blankly
Reminds me of that old-ass meme of guys on a couch cheering/not cheering for the TV.
It’s an AMERICAN.
Fucking boo.
Oh shit, it’s not Trump is it? The Cardinals didn’t go all ‘mad lads’ on us, did they?!
No, someone at Wikipedia is working overtime though
Prevost has faced criticism from advocates for clergy abuse survivors regarding his handling of sexual abuse allegations during his leadership in the Augustinian order and in Peru. The advocacy group SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) has alleged that Prevost failed to act against abuse claims involving Richard McGrath, a former president of Providence Catholic High School, allowing him to remain in his position despite longstanding accusations.[26]
He’s going to be an amazing pope, off to such a great start! /S
Make the clergy great again
MCGA… Has a very American ring to it
McGa
Well, no one wants tariffs. No even the Vatican!
(Sorry, I’ll let myself or now)
Go forth and or!
😍
Yeah but he lived in Peru for like ever and speaks good Italian and other languages
Either they elected a new pope or they are burning coolant, meaning the papal headgasket has blown.
This made my day
Chicago Pope proclaims he’s “on a mission from God”, looking to “get the band back together.”
I wonder how much money is about to change hands in the Pope betting markets.
They are voting on the Pope’s new name, too. I have $2 on Pope Bootylicious
How much can I bet on MAGA getting mad he isn’t using his birth name and claiming they should call him by his birth name once they realize he doesn’t support all their views.
That’s true, will they even let him into the country since he went and changed his name and it doesn’t match his birth certificate anymore?
C’mon Pizzaballa!
Pope Pie-us the… [Checks wikipedia for how many others use the name] XIII…
That would be amazing. He’d be known as Pope Pizza Pie in the anglosphere.
When the moon hits your eyes like a big pizza pie that’s the pope-ay
Any hope of some actual positive reform with this guy, or are we back to old cult dance of fucking alter boys and sucking political dick?
I think he’s just going to keep the same track as Francis, not great, not terrible
Well… I’d place that as exceeding my personal expectations, so… yay?
Pope Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho IX
Gonna be hilarious when trump takes credit.
Please don’t be another fucking John. Another Hilarious would be rad.
His wiki says that “Hilary” is also a correct translation. It would be so triggering to certain people to have a “Pope Hilary”
Congrats Pope Bob!!!
This is his final form
Glad there’s nothing important going on in the world and we can huff Vatican chimney-farts for entertainment instead.