“Low maintenance friendships”, aka friendships. Can’t remember who I heard it from, but someone put it in a way that resonated well with me. If it needs constant work, it’s not a friendship. If you’re friends, you can meet after not being in touch for five or ten years and continue exactly where you left off.
Edit: “constant” being the key word. It takes a lot of work achieve that level of friendship, but it may also be the only type worth having
This idea that any kind of relationship should be effortless and easy is, frankly, incredibly absurd. Good relationships (of which friendships are) take real effort and work. If you don’t want to put that work in to it then you need a pet rock, not a friend.
Friendships take effort and work absolutely, but once you’ve made friends for life, they stick. I feel you’ve misunderstood what I was trying to say. People that are in constant need of you serving them or they say they’ll stop being your friends were never your friends to begin with.
Probably doesn’t work the same for everyone, but I’ve never been one to have a big circle of occasional pals or “friends” to hang out with. For the most part, with the people I connect with I develop very deep, lifelong friendships that work through thick and thin because they’re not based on what one can gain from another.
once you’ve made friends for life, they stick
People drift apart. Actually making the effort to communicate and meet up occasionally is important for maintaining those relationships. If you’re not in the place where you’re can stay aware of major life changes (marriage, divorce, kids, major career changes, moves between cities, major illness or injury, deaths in family, etc.), were you really “friends for life”?
Even making brunch plans in my 40s requires consulting a calendar. That naturally shrinks the number of close friends in the mix. I’m closer with my friends who live close than the ones who live far, simply out of inertia, that maintaining those relationships takes less effort.
Yeah, active relationships take effort. However, the true friends I made growing up, I can hit them up or they can hit me up, after any number of years, and we pick up right where we left off… It hits different.
Woman bad
And this one even has a little homophobia sprinkled in.
I think homosexuality has reached a level of societal acceptance(at least in the west), that it is ok to be ironically homophobic again.
Then again, some might argue that being against nazis was a societal norm, so being ironically nazi was fine too. Yet here we are now, where being unironically nazi is somewhat acceptable by a large part of the society.
And being homophobic is even more acceptable by a large part of the society.
Bonus panel:
Even chadder face: “I married my husband”
It does appear this post is ultra based. /s
where did you get that from, along with 30 people who upvoted this
“I barely talk to my friends lol.”
“There’s a male loneliness epidemic.”
Maybe we should think about these memes less as complex thought-out statements, and more as reflections of the times they are created in, just like all art.
Thanks, I am validated now
Tagged as “insane misandrist”, it sure checks out.
I wouldn’t say this is an insane take from that person, or misandrist really. I have no other meanings in regards to what that person says, but in this case this is a sensible take.
The whole meme is about how women are “hysterical” and overly emotional. While men are calm and chill creatures.
It caters to stereotypes that view women in a negative light. I know exactly zero women who act like this. Most women are calm and chill people as well. Unless you of course call them hysterical or overly emotional, then they can rightfully get a bit mad. You would probably react that way also. It kinda infantalizes you.
I would as a man, expect my best friend to tell me if he’s moving, expecting a child, or is getting married, within a reasonable timeframe. That is within a couple of months.
I’ve now tagged you as “insane misogynist” for the sake of balance.
???
I had a friend who excitedly told me about their new car but neglected to mention their 6 month old son.
Stereotypes, get your stereotypes, fresh gender stereotypes right here.
Men who don’t marry are gay and woman are always mad at each other over nothing.
The guy didn’t explicitly say he married a woman, might still be gay.
My first thought ^^
Also it’s not manly to share your life with a friend apparently.
I’m 40+ and a couple of months ago started therapy. I didn’t even knew I needed therapy, went with my wife for couple therapy and it quickly turned into personal therapy.
What I learned after some tests is that I fall into the top 4% of men who are emotional closed off. This is pretty extreme, but maybe the worst part is, I never even knew. This is the stereotype we teach boys, men don’t have emotions, they don’t talk about emotions, etc.
Don’t you cry or I’ll give you something to cry about.
And we wonder why there’s a male loneliness epidemic
It’s because of women hating all men of course.
Something something space lasers!
He is gay, married another bro.
That’s the least possible gay thing he could do.
How about transitioning to a woman, then marrying their female best friend? I feel like that would at least be slightly less gay
It is a little weird when you meet an old friend and they are now trans
I respect but it was a culture shock
“But I am gay.”
Plot twist!
Girl boring guy quirky.
And it’s ultimately insulting to men too, like the idea of being excited to share personal news is somehow anathema to the male experience.
I don’t know how serious one has to take themselves to find this “ultimately insulting”. It’s a silly meme and it’s funny because most men can relate to it.
Low maintenance friendships are the best ships 🛳️
I’m no psychoanalyst but it sounds like someone is insecure in their ability to love and be loved and would prefer to guarantee a balanced reciprocity of low effort on both sides.
Isn’t it just boy and girl different?
gay people cant get married?
Once again, Estonia is the best of the Baltics.
Estonia being called baltic and not nordic:
Why not both?
Soon maybe not anymore
Depends on where you are sadly.
He was starting to think it, and now he knows.
Keep in mind they call each other bro because in 45 years they don’t even know each others names since they met.
Would die for each other tho.
I have friends that i know for 10+ years and i don’t know their real names
Ah yes assuming sexual preference based on martial status, just like friends do.
Oh, friends assume sexual preference based on other things too. Like the way you eat a hotdog, what kind of car you drive, how quickly you can recognize that the song is by Kyle Minogue, how long you hold a sloppy french kiss with your homies, wether you you sit with your legs crossed or slow down on a yellow light.
Damn, I can never remember how long to french kiss my bros either! Have been called gay so many times for it.
Shit, that reminds me I should text my best friend, he might be a father by now.
When was the last time you texted him?
I enjoyed the stereotype to laugh it but I feel obligated to state one thing. Relationships require maintenance, that’s it regardless of boy or girl. Sure some people might say hi back but that doesn’t mean they’re a friend.
waahhhh there is a loneliness epidemic and nobody cares about men
This is something I don’t like about guys, as a guy.
Damn, really easy to spot the Americans in the comments
We’re all Americans here right? That’s why it’s called lemmy.usa, duh.
