At first he was cool and would wash people’s cars and picking up animal poop from yards. But it turns out he wasn’t helpful. He was gathering materials and was stealing polluted dirt, piles of shit, and anything else he could find into grotesque golems that roam town and do his bidding. It’s unbearable to go to the market for some bread and milk only to discover the waste elemental made of animated shit and cigarette butts is there to get groceries for him. It’s a fucking nightmare and it makes me want to wear anti magic pendants to fuck up his errands - but that leaves behind unanimated filth that has to be moved by us mundanes. It’s so one sided it’s like tyranny.
Sells
drugsherbs and potionsUnfreeze self checkouts
Oh def. Mine waves a fob and then hits some numbers, and usually waives whatever didn’t get scanned properly.
Provides sick ass snacks for community sacrifice night
Put his dick in my ass.
He arrives neither early or late, but precisely when he means to.
I’m getting sick of that excuse, Gandalf!
If only… I’m constantly late.
… except to parties since they don’t start until I arrive.
I dont currently have a local wizard but our national wizard does rain dances and heckles evangelical preachers. He was on the city payroll for his services for 20 years until he got cancelled for making a spicy comment in a YouTube video.
Don’t worry though he trained an apprentice who carrying the torch and taking over local wizardry.
I love how the town subsidised his heckling until he went online with it. Probably drew the attention of the Council of Five, and then the town had to clean up their image
He summons drinks and snacks.
I haven’t seen him all week because he’s been pondering his orb.
He just walks by, suddenly.
Casting his shadow, weaving his spell
I maintain the balance of the spheres, put pride into the hearts of gender bendy men with my badass skirts, and keep the database server up.
He uses some weird magic to attract the local pigeons
Mine installs programs with easy to understand pop up prompts that replaces text files and filing.
I would like to know more
He walks among us like anyone else, but when an opportunity comes along, he puts on his robe and wizard hat.
His staff has a knob on the end!
