Hey!
If there’s confusion related to the title,its just a reference that the system has won, I lost, once again.
So my paid for professional diagnosis is done for now, I am refused the official recognition as an Autist. It’s all still there though.
I am livid. And empty.
I guess it’s my fault since >40 years of adapting and masking can make you too social, that’s what it broke down to. I am friendly and open and excel at masking.
They don’t see the price I (we) pay.
Apologies for the rant. I need your support.
Medical support is not what I need, nor any disabled status.
It is however a sort of legitimization, mostly for all around me that I am not lazy nor unwilling but I am not able to do better. I am still trying hard. Without this, there’s always doubt for the neurotypical that it could just be laziness or unwillingness this time, or more often…
It’s recognition.
(edit: nor -> not typo fix)
From one internet stranger to another: you are valid. For the naysayers no amount of official recognition would matter anyway.
EDIT: Your anger is also valid and justified.
Thank you!
Also without the edit.
Last week I talked to my first official known autism ever and found so many things understood it was heartwarming.
For people who accept autism as a valid reason for not having your life perfectly in order, an official diagnosis won’t change anything.
For people who don’t accept it as a valid reason, an official diagnosis won’t change anything either.
I’m undiagnosed myself, and I’m not even seeking a diagnosis because it wouldn’t change anything for me. A piece of paper confirming that I’ve been dealt a bad hand doesn’t make me feel any better. The cards are already on the table - I can see them with my own eyes.
Also a good perspective. However it also covers support in Europe so maybe I could get support so that my family doesn’t have to pull my weight fully, so to say.
Oh and also in case something happens showing that you’re Autist could help because the reaction could be misinterpreted. Fair - this could also be done without diagnosis but seems a bit silly if they then see it’s officially not the case.
So personally, I’m not seeking the diagnosis. AuADHD is hard enough to experience, I don’t want people to also be able to use it as an excuse with me. I know my limits.
People have asked me for years, assumed I was, and when my ASD friends find out I’m not diagnosed are legitimately shocked. For 20 some years I’ve been in denial about the extremely obvious signs because I wanted to fit in.
I have a very hard time accepting anything, but I have a harder time rejecting clear patterns, evidence, external observation, and introspection. Honestly, thats been more valuable to me than a diagnosis. The diagnosis would just confirm what I know, not how I’m going to go forward.
So instead I can ask a therapist directly: “how do I stop wasting energy trying to fit in, when fitting in is expected?”
I can cope as stated in other answers but I need to know the facts. Is issue ‘A’ just a given and needs to be worked with or can it be changed?
This is also what I am looking for.
That makes a lot of sense.
Understanding makes me happy!