It’s that time of year again when my partner gets upset with me because I’m not the kind of person that ever wants anything…
My partner always wants this or that. They mention things they want all the time. So I write down what I hear. Gift holidays are covered easily because I try to pay attention.
I feel bad though. I know it’s hard when I don’t talk about things I want. And when asked, I don’t know what to say. It only ends up causing me anxiety.
This is so dumb. What does a person who doesn’t want things want for their birthday?
Maybe a really nice edition of a book you already love, from a luxury publisher like The Folio Society or Easton Press?
Tell them the they are the only gift you need and how lucky you are to have them in your life. Anything material just pails in comparison.
Ha! To which they will then melt in my arms and kiss me and tell me just how wonderful I am… only to then punch me in the arm and say… “now tell me what I can get you, dammit, or I will hurt you more!” 😁
Ask for world peace maybe it’ll work.
I asked god. Still waiting for a response. Will let you know.
pegging
Well played.
don’t knock it until you’ve tried it
🤣 💜
A pair of Calico Cut Pants
I don’t know what those are, but I did damage some pants recently which I was going to fix. But fixing things annoys the hell out of my spouse because I can usually endlessly keep things going on forever when… we could just go shopping… which would make them excited. I could use a couple t-shirts as well.
I hate shopping… and it drives me nuts that i would need to do it on my birthday… But my birthday is an opportunity to bring joy to my family. People love giving gifts!
I know this sounds all weird and backwards. I just don’t really want things, but there are things that I could use which seem mundane to me but can be fun for others to pick.
Thank you!
Still no idea what makes pants calico. Lol.
Oh u gotta watch more InThink You Should Leave.
Maybe have them donate to some charities of your choice.
Happy birthday!
With my partner, we usually gift time/knowledge. As in, one person wants to buy something but doesn’t have the time/expertise to read up it and find the perfect thing. So the other hops in and does the research for them.
This valentine’s my partner helped me decide on a new gaming keyboard, while I got him a custom web domain and email setup.
So maybe if there’s a thing you’ve been meaning to research/buy, let your partner do it as a gift?
I have the same problem when I need to come up with things on the spot. So instead I keep a list that I add ideas I get for things I want over time. That way if someone asks I can show them that and I don’t have to think on the spot about what I want.
This is literally what I do for other people. Not sure why I’ve never thought of this for myself. I mean, I have to want things now and again, right? I usually don’t get those things because I ultimately don’t really care and there are more important things I need to spend money on. Budget only seems to get more tight over time.
Anyway, it will be tough to remember to do this, but I just have to remember I’m doing it for them and not me. I will be more likely to actually notate things then. This can work moving forward. Thanks!
Yeah I definitely still have problems with remembering to do it, especially if I get an idea when I’m not at a place where it’s easy to note the idea down. But even having a few things on there can be enough and sometimes help with jogging my memory about other things I wanted when it comes closer to an event.
Food? Everybody likes food, right?
Or an experience - a trip, a night out, whatever
Consumables are great. It opens up for repeatability and the receiver is never stuck with dust collectors.
You want a fun day trip that you don’t have to plan?
To list of things anything you could want:
- Goods
- Services
- Relationship time, that is your partner doing things for you,
which can be subdivided into 10 more types of wishes.
You want a purple rubber dildo
You know, I should have played a game where I guessed the percentage of comments that would involve some element of sexuality. Haha.
Purple is my favorite color. 😁
my usual responses when asked are:
- Cheap one: 6 pack of beer and a pizza
- Middle one: bottle of vodka and a take out
- Expensive one: bottle of scotch and a bar of dark chocolate
booze and food are always welcome with me lol
If your partner is a craftsy type, you could suggest that they craft something for you. It was always those gifts that meant the most to me when I was with someone craftsy. It doesn’t have to have utility, or be perfect, it just means the world that someone spent time and thought creating something for you.
Now this is a great idea and why i asked this question in the first place! Not sure why I wasn’t thinking of it.
They once made me an incredible crocheted dice bag. It’s a crocheted bottle and cork with a baby red dragon wrapped around it protecting it. It took time and effort, looks super cool, was cheap to make, and I love it! This is the kind of thing that would make them feel great in giving and I love it too!
Win-win!
Glad I could help!
A cat.
Good god no. Half my family’s allergic. I’m just allergic to their nature. 🤣
In that case, a cure for allergies.
And a cat.
I think you lifted gift giving standards way up high and your partner wants to keep up 😊
- Anything that can be consumed, eaten or drunk is a good gift.
- Tickets to some event you can both attend and spend quality time together. Maybe a concert
Yup, 100%. Consumable treats that you’d not normally buy yourself and experiences like events or lessons.
LSD
