Just bought box wine the other day cuz I knew I had to have a super uncomfortable conversation that could not be avoided and I needed to be anaesthetized for it
It worked and I know in retrospect I really needed it to be that way
Edit/Update: person I had convo with just texted me and apologized for combativeness and I mutually apologized for not dealing with it sooner and we’re along and on to solution mode. The system works, please dont drink if you dont have too but dont forbid yourself from using a tool to improve your situation and try to always be honest. The less you lie or hide, the less influence you will have to unnecessarily drink
I mean, you could call it strategic, or you could call it relying on substances as a crutch to manage your emotions.
I’m not saying that’s always bad, necessarily. There is the school of thought that it’s just a tool, like in your edit. But, it’s important to remember it can become a habit.
Sure, but I was also an alcoholic. Very high functioning, but still at the end 100% dependant on it.
The slope is so treacherously flat, you don’t feel yourself slipping. I still have no idea how I ended up where I did, or for that matter how I ended up actually managing to quit.
I’m sure some people can use liquid courage without it turning into depending on it to do the hard things, then more and more things turning hard and needing a boost to do it, or can wash away work with a drink at the end of the week, without having to wash it away at the end of every day, and then having a quick rinse-and-reset at lunch, and so on… But it’s impossible to know which one you are until it’s too late.
I’ve been doing “tipsy chore day” for a while. Do a chore > glass of wine > do another chore > glass of wine… I may as well finish the bottle > do a chore > final glass.
Chores are less boring, and you push through them to get your next glass. Has to be wine though, beer I don’t get a buzz going, and spirits have me incompetent.
These days i rarely drink but a glass of wine with some pasta now and again goes down a treat
I do, but the other way as I’m getting old and can’t down them like I used to. Met up with a mate to watch the F1 in the pub garden on a sunny Sunday, just had a couple of halves as I still wanted to try a number of new drops
Though I completely understand using alcohol to loosen up a bit, for numerous social situations. Definitely used it more that way in my younger days, to varying degrees of success
Using alcohol as a method to resolve personal problems can be a very dark path. Please be careful.
Hey man, I downvoted but i wanted to tell you why. My family has multiple alcoholics. I’m not judging you at all, but i a wanted to encourage you to find other coping mechanism. Alcohol is very dangerous, especially when used that way. Be safe, bro.
I understand, more of an AUD dude and its welm-managed, especially since ive been low sugar
I downvoted you because I think you’re judging just a little. Not everyone is an addict.
I think they’re just pointing out that using alcohol as coping mechanism can easily cause alcoholism, and therefore this post is really dangerous advice for some people.
Rigth - and downvotes fixes it? This is lunacy and detrimental to discussion/sharing. You can spot «danger for someone» just about anywhere you look.
Now the question was if you sometimes drink strategically. Drinking all the time or every day isn’t drinking strategically.
Try being human sometimes, and not trying to outdo each other being «perfect». Unless you’re 14 and trying to fit in…
You can abuse alcohol to negative effect without drinking every day. Binge drinking and drinking to dull your emotions are other forms of alcohol abuse beyond just the classic portrayal of a “drinks all day or he gets the shakes” alcoholic. Maybe OP is doing this very occasionally and it’s not a problem for them. But if you’re using alcohol to as a coping mechanism with any sort of frequency, it’s probably not a healthy situation.
Rigth - and downvotes fixes it? This is lunacy and detrimental to discussion/sharing.
Thank you. But anecdotally, it seems there are few of us who think this. I still don’t understand why.
Lower karma posts are less likely to be seen?
Exactly my point. The virtual equivalent of taping someone’s mouth shut because you happen not to agree with what they say.
Then you do understand why people are downvoting because this is bad advice and others dont want people to see it.
Freedom of speech as an absolute sounds virtuous until you hit the paradox of tolerance.
well put.
I like heroin personally.
Anxiety is necessary sometimes. It’s fine to be anxious and it’s ok to be uncomfortable. You are having trouble managing your anxiety seek a therapist. Alcohol will trick you into thinking it’s a solution. Be careful, this is very similar to how my alcoholism and my fathers started.
Yes, my strategy is I don’t drink and in turn I don’t get hangovers
No, but I don’t drink strategically. If you need to have a hard conversation or do something difficult, you should probably have your whole brain in use.
Lots of people warning you about alcoholism. Idk. I drink coffee strategically every day, and that’s a drug. But also yes, I sometimes drink alcohol strategically. If I know I’m going to hang out with my sister who I love but disagree with on many many things, i have a drink or two. I try to dull my brain just enough that I am too slow to get offended at every single thing (or just don’t care to, maybe?) in the end, we have a great time, I don’t get all debate-ey with her, and instead just appreciate the good things about her. We don’t see each other that often so I genuinely don’t see any danger from this coping mechanism.
A caffeine addiction and an alcohol addiction are two completely different beasts though.
Yes, millions of people for thousands of years have done something like this. It’s called liquid courage for a reason. I used to give myself exact small doses of alcohol to loosen up my introversion before social situations. If your job depends on it, it’s basically a performance enhancer.
Not promoting alcoholism here, despite what I’m sure lots of comments will say. Personally, I barely drink at all anymore because it’s gotten really hard on my body. Just giving a different viewpoint. There’s so much addict pearl-clutching in here. Plenty of people can and do use drugs and alcohol responsibly. If you “don’t need” them, great. If responsible doses help you live better, great.
Given the fact that they said they need the equivalent of FOUR bottles of wine to have an uncomfortable conversation, it’s a red flag.
You’re right, many people can consume things in moderation, but when you see warning signs like that, warning them isn’t a form of pearl clutching so much as “dude, be careful.”
I mean, did they say they consumed a whole box of boxed wine? Or just that they bought one? Could have also been on of those cartons that is the equivalent of about 2 glasses.
Generally speaking, when I’ve seen someone speak about a box of wine, it’s the 3L one, not the smaller ones.
Yeah, I’m aware of these. I was speaking of the big boxes, not the ones like this.
I just hope that OP doesn’t go down the same ruinous path that I did. Compared to where I was in my fifteen year journey with Alcohol Use Disorder, I was at about year four. Where I would drink in order to relax and be able to socialize with others.
An over reliance on a substance to ease a social situation (no matter the reason), is a potential crossroads that can lead further down the path of abusing said substance.
If they drank the whole damn thing that night, then agreed, that’s a red flag. OP didn’t say that though. Maybe they can clarify.
I like to have a drink but hard NO to doing it before anything important. I strongly prefer to feel clear headed for those moments.
Yes, I barely if ever drink alcohol. I’m not social and hate talking to people or crowds, I’m also pretty ND so I can’t fake or pretend I give a shit about what other people are talking.
Alcohol helps a lot, if I have to meet whoever and their friends and they’re asking me about work or how I would design an app that does blah blah I definitely need to be like 4 beers in to tolerate that conversation.
That being said I don’t drink for things like school presentations or other events that require me to speak, like conference stuff. I just bite the bullet and it sucks, but I’d rather be sober and speaking coherently than feeling like I am.
